The Milk Bar

They Are Out To Turn My Hair Grey!

2012-02-15T20:25:00.001+10:00

Well, I had to take Aaron to the dentist today. I noticed last week that one of his teeth had a very visible hole in it. One hole is bad but I should have seen it coming knowing that he seemed to come out very quickly from supposedly brushing his teeth. I made a mental note to stand in on his teeth brushing more often but I didn't beat myself up too much about it.

So back to that visit today. Guess what? He's five and his last visit to the dentist was in October but he has FIVE, maybe SIX, holes that need fillings. OMG! And instantly, five, maybe six hairs must have turned grey on my head. I could not believe it. I was stunned.

The first two words from the dentist after announcing the 'results' was "Soft Drinks!"

"Nope"

He then said "Poor oral hygiene".

I'm his mother! How could I let him get that many holes in four months? On hindsight, they must have already been there at the last visit but no x-rays were taken at that time. And also, all the tongue ulcers Aaron has been getting has meant that there were many days that he didn't brush his teeth at all. On top of that, he was taking all sorts of sugar coated pain killers and mouth rinses.

Aaron got two fillings done and we'll be going back for the next two weeks for the rest of them. I'm making an appointment for myself too so that I won't suddenly get a shock like that with my own teeth.

The final thing the dentist said to me was "After he brushes his teeth, you need to brush his teeth for him, until he is eight!" I don't remember being all that conscientious about my own teeth brushing when I was five. I definitely don't remember my parents brushing my teeth for me! I think I should just supervise and train him a little more over the next few months.

My Maternal Grandmother

2012-02-14T19:47:00.005+10:00

My brother has been working on our family tree for several years now. Over the Chinese New Year period, he took the time to scan a lot of the old photos that were still around. My favorites were the ones of my grandmother. Here are just a few.

She always wore either the traditional samfu (literally translated to shirt and pants, but the chinese style) or the kebaya (embroidered blouse worn with a sarong) for more formal occasions. She always has her hair permed because her best friend was a hair dresser. I even saw photos of my uncle when he was three years old and he to had a perm! My grandmother still has permed hair today.

I'll admit that she's my favourite grandparent. She is always gentle, kind and considerate. In her old age, she has grown a little clumsier and less elegant if a stranger were to observer her but I still see her the way I did as a child. This photo of my grandparents from my childhood. She is still wearing a samfu.

And here they are today - she is 89 and he is 94. She no longer wears the samfu as often because they've all be worn out and nobody makes them anymore these days.

I think they both still look good for their age. Well, I'm off to give them a phonecall.

Stress Free Parenting

2012-02-13T11:52:00.000+10:00

Is it possible? Somebody please tell me. Has anyone gone through an entirely frustration free day where each road block from a child was met with a smile and a calm voice?

Seriously, some days, when I just can't keep it calm at home and everything is crazy, I literally feel big wrinkles digging their way into my face and grey hairs pushing their way out from my hair follicles. I've taken to telling myself "Its no big deal, other kids get like this too. No point growing old over it."

As you can see, I'm still hungover from the holidays where I didn't have Richard's help with child care each day. I feel very disorganised and tense. Its impossible not to notice the calm mothers at Aaron's class gate during pick up and drop offs. They seem so peaceful and their children so obedient. Are they really like that all day? On the other hand, I have to admit that there are the mothers with the permanent furrows on their foreheads and kids that are definitely not cooperative. Thankfully, I think I'm somewhere in the middle, but I can feel a definite force pushing me to the dark side.

I want to be one of the calm ones. If only I could follow them around for a day to see if they just pull it together for the pick up and drop offs or they manage to keep their cool all 24 hours of the day. I suspect that it probably isn't calm all the time but maybe they do have most of their day under control.

The one common thing that I've noticed is that they never seem to be in a rush. Kids are unloaded and loaded into car seats at a very easy going pace. The long walk from the car park to the classroom is more like a stroll through park lands, observing and exploring along the way. The pick up after school often begins with a short chat about the day, sometimes a few minutes in the playground and then the stroll back to the car.

So, this is the first step that I will be taking in an attempt to reduce the spikes in stress levels in this house. I have no boss and I don't have heavily scheduled children so I'm just going to take it easy. Before jumping into this, I've started telling myself that it may mean that I must not rush to get things done so that I can have a few minutes to myself. The reward of a calmer environment and more co-operative children may eliminate that need for time to myself. Right?

Where did my weekend go?

2012-02-12T23:45:00.001+10:00

I really think that weekends should be three days long - one day to do all the essentials, one day to go out and have fun and then one day to stay at home and do nothing. That one day of doing nothing would surely make the first weekday more attractive.

Today disappeared in a flash. We went to mass in the morning, came home and I prepared some food that we could just re-heat during the week. Then, it was time for lunch. After that, I had to get everything ready for our usual Sunday journey to Caboolture for clogging. The entire family goes. Richard is now in the beginner class so the boys and I go along with him at around 4pm. My parents leave the house a little later than us. After Richard's session, he brings the boys home for dinner and bed while my parents and I stay back for the rest of the night of clogging. We don't get home until 10.30pm!

So its just going to be short post tonight. I was supposed to start my early morning gym visits again tomorrow but I doubt I'll wake up. Is it that important to be disciplined? I'm still craving a break but for now, I'll settle for a good 6 hours of sleep.

Stuttering Episodes

2012-02-11T19:38:00.002+10:00

During the first half of my pregnancy with Adrian, he had me very worried because one of the pre-natal tests came back indicating that he was at an increased risk of Down Syndrome. It was the first time in my life that I was constantly worrying about something day and night, for weeks! Anyway, all that worry was relieved after week 20 of the pregnancy when I had another scan.

About three weeks ago, he did it to me again - gave me a day and night type of worry. He has been speaking very well and chats like some three year olds. His sentences are long and mostly complete ones with correct grammar. So, it came as a real shock when he started stuttering. I don't know what the trigger was the first time, but one night, he started repeating the word 'I'. He always says 'I love you' about a hundred times before he goes to sleep but that night, he repeated the 'I' five times each time he said it.

By the next morning, he was repeating the first word of every sentence he spoke. And by that evening, when he was tired, he had to work so hard to get the first word out that he would start crying. It was heart wrenching to watch.

All this happened during the Chinese New Year period when we were very busy and there were a lot of people around. When we finally managed to have a quiet day at home, and I could dedicate all my attention to him, he seemed to improve. Instead of repeating a word, he would just drag it into a long sound. And then, strangely, a blessing in disguise happened. He clipped his finger in a door hinge and the next day, he woke up and he spoke normally again. Boy was I relieved!

About a week later, I lost my temper at him and gave him a loud and overly harsh scolding. Almost instantly, the stuttering returned - worse. He repeated every word in each sentence! This carried on for quite a few days and I noticed that he started to choose not to communicate with words. While quiet is one of the things I crave for this household, you can imagine the guilt I felt for scolding him and wishing for quiet when he was now finding it too hard to even attempt speaking. We were still in Malaysia but I made an appointment at a speech pathologist for the day after we were to arrive back. Strangely, on the same day that I made the arrangements for the appointment, he bumped his chin on the edge of a table and ended up cutting his lip. He went for a nap straight afterwards and when he woke up, he spoke normally again! I guess the brain got something else to worry about and freed up his speech or something. I was so thankful!

We still went for the appointment when we got back to Brisbane but the speech pathologist said he spoke perfectly, above average his age group in fact. She couldn't tell me anything useful because she wasn't able to observe him. We're supposed to monitor him for the next three weeks and go back.

The forced lesson from all this is that I am now about ten notches more patient. I've consciously tried to become one of those silent but deadly parents - I have not achieved this yet. There were a few times where I had to discipline Adrian, and I did this by either taking away an offending toy or removing him from a situation. He started dragging out the first words in some of his sentences again. Thankfully, it only lasted a day and then disappeared.

What am I supposed to do with a two year old that I cannot lose it with? I know you're not supposed to in the first place but it happens! I must not compare my sons but even without this problem, Adrian was well on his way to becoming a much more challenging two year old than Aaron was.

I'm Finally Starting The Year

2012-02-10T22:15:00.001+10:00

We arrived back from Malaysia on Monday and jumped straight into things. The month away from the internet was surprisingly refreshing - I didn't suffer any withdrawal symptoms or even miss it. Apart from occasionally remembering to Skype Richard, I was happy to be offline.

I might have already missed a whole month of the calendar year but maybe I'll go by the lunar calendar instead. That way, I'm only two weeks behind. I can't say that I'm rested after a six week holiday, in fact, I am exhausted from single parenting for the past month, but I am definitely enthusiastic about starting the year. Adrian is two years old now and a little bit more independent. I want to seriously work on my own things again - bank account balance, stamina, brain capacity, and of course, this blog. Lets see if I can get back to daily blogging.

So for this first post of the year, here are the highlights of our six weeks in Malaysia.

We had a mini party for Adrian's second birthday. Many of my extended family were already in Ipoh because of Christmas so we invited them all to the house for noodles, roti canai and a banana chocolate cake. This is a photo of Adrian with all the ladies that were present. I'm still asking around for anyone who took a decent family photo of us.

Richard was only in Malaysia for about two weeks and for one of those weeks, we were in his hometown of Penang. We spent time with family there as well as a few fun days at one of the beach hotels.

The main reason for our visit back to Ipoh was for the whole family to make a big deal of Chinese New Year. Almost everybody was back. My grandparents are 89 and 94 and the whole family coming together for a big celebration means a lot to them. When I was a child, my grandmother would invite the lion dance to her house. Thirty years later, she is too old to be bothered with the hassle of it and I invited them to our house instead. I LOVE watching lion dances, the loud drums and firecrackers always put me in a festive mood. And, it has always been a dream of mine to have them come to our house in Ipoh.

In the photo above, the two lions are peeling and arranging the pomelo, mandarins and peanuts. Supposedly, its good luck to eat these things that the sweaty 'lions' have prepared.

This trip was intended to be all about my grandparents. While I did spend a lot of time with them, I left with the feeling that I still didn't spend ALL my time with them. Aaron and Adrian are still too young to just sit around and chat with old people, and, at this age, thats about all my grandparents can do. In the end, I was over at their house a lot of the time, but each time, it was only for a short period of time. I hope that I'll get another chance to do this in the future. Here is one final photo of my grandfather, Adrian and I.

Tomorrow is our first Saturday back and I plan on doing nothing. The past six weeks have been so hectic that I need to take a break now.

Are we on holidays yet?

2011-12-22T22:13:00.000+10:00

This week has been managed to be simultaneously slow and hectic. Slow because everyone is in the holiday mood and mode but the real holidays aren't quite here yet. There is this feeling of prolonged anticipation around us. And amidst all that, I seem to have had a constant stream of things to do to get ready for our trip back to Ipoh, Malaysia tomorrow. Multiple trips to the shops, packing and unpacking, planning what food to bring and of course how to keep the two boys entertained for nearly 12 hours.

I think I've got everything. We leave at 5.30am tomorrow and that means that there won't be any time for last minute re-packing. I used to think that as long as I had my passport, tickets and a credit card with me, all the rest won't matter. Obviously, thats not the case anymore.

My next post will probably be sometime in the new year. And, I'll have to work much harder to make my blogging more frequent otherwise there won't be a blog (or readers!) to talk about by the end of 2012.

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year everybody!

He Rides!

2011-12-17T20:56:00.000+10:00

It has been awhile since Aaron has hit any major milestones. When he was still a teeny baby, I did start off tracking baby milestones in a notebook but that practice was abandoned soon after he rolled over for the first time. And after he started doing the basic things like walking, talking and going to the bathroom by himself, I not only didn't write them down, I probably also stopped thinking in terms of 'milestones' for him. I'm a little ashamed to say that much of my record of his life is right here on this blog.

Anyway, its time for another 'milestone' to be recorded here. Aaron is finally riding a bike! This has taken longer than I expected. I started teaching him in September 2009. Thats over two years ago! Perhaps its another one of those things that they'll do when they're ready. Previously, he insisted on leaving the trainer wheels on all the time. He finally outgrew that first bike I got him and when we got him a flashy new Lightning McQueen bike, I said it didn't come with any trainer wheels.

I think this accomplishment deserves more than just a photo. Here's a video instead...

Richard and I got our exercise by taking turns jogging next to him around that oval. Maybe next time we'll be able to sit back and relax. Oh wait.... there's still Adrian.

Here is a final photo. Is it just me or do you also see a proud look of satisfaction on his face?

I wonder if this blog will still be around when he starts driving...

Definitely Feeling Like Christmas

2011-12-14T16:51:00.000+10:00

Saturday to Tuesday was a blur to me. I met up with four different sets of people and attended two Christmas parties. I dragged Aaron and Adrian from an hour south of Brisbane to an hour north of Brisbane and they were very patient with it all. We're all definitely in the Christmas mood now. I almost want to put up a Christmas tree. 'Almost' being the key word there. It might seem a bit lazy of me but I just don't think its worth it since we won't actually be here for Christmas and no presents are going to be put under it.

To make up for the lack of a Christmas tree, we have all day long Christmas carols instead. Don't groan. Its a good thing! I love them and this year, I've even learnt a couple of new ones. Aaron and Adrian will be well prepared to impress the grandparents with their singing - if they can control the dinosaur roars that they like to throw in every once in awhile.

Aaron has had me secretly laughing each time we go to a shopping mall because he gets very excited about all the decoration. He walks around looking and admiring it all while loudly exclaiming "Wow!" and "Look at that Mama. Isn't it beautiful?". I love the innocence and awe that he has. I've grown cynical and the decorations sometimes look very tacky to me (plus, its the same ones that they put up each year) but to him they appear magical.

Strangely, he does not get excited at the prospect of sitting on Santa's knee. He said to me "That can't be the real Santa. The real one is in the North Pole." At least I know that he thinks Santa is real but there are fake ones about to trick little kids in shopping malls. Real or fake, he still went up to have a chat with one of them.

And here is Adrian, trying out to be a reindeer. He just goes along with whatever Aaron is finding exciting. I don't think Christmas has any special meaning to him yet.

So from reindeer, lets move on to penguins. I had never heard this Christmas song until about a week ago and its become my latest favourite. Its called "Penguin, James Penguin" - very cute! I couldn't find an original clip of Brad Paisley singing it but if you search on YouTube, there are a couple of other cute versions like this.

...

But I've got another story
That I bet you haven't heard
Did you know that Santa
Has a secret agent bird

He's Penguin, James Penguin
That dapper little guy
Like a well dressed duck in a three piece tux
He's Santa's secret spy

From an undisclosed location
He's watching me and you
He's got satellite uplinks in his cufflinks
Yeah he sees everything you do

Not so very long ago
Santa didn't need much help
But with more and more kids every year
He soon got overwhelmed
He told the elves one Christmas
We can't do this anymore
Then a knight in shining polyester
Waddled through his door

And it was Penguin, James Penguin
He was there to save the day
He had wireless
And GPS outfitted on the sleigh

And Santa said Penguin
Won't you be my ears and eyes
How'd you like to help me run
My SCFBI

All I Want For Christmas

2011-12-06T12:02:00.001+10:00

Honestly, right now, all I want for Christmas is to have my Christmas shopping done! I started looking around for gifts nearly two weeks ago. I had my list but I probably only checked it once because since then, I've bought at least seven gifts but only two names on my original list have been crossed off! We'll be heading back to Malaysia for a big extended family Christmas. Everyone will be there and I don't want anybody to miss out on a gift. It is absolutely true that the joy at Christmas comes from giving a gift - I love that part of it. Its the acquisition of the gift that is giving me a headache right now.

On top of Christmas, we've got Adrian's birthday two days later and then Richard's birthday eight days after that! Those dates only occurred to me as I started this post. MORE GIFTS REQUIRED!

So, as I go off to do some virtual window shopping in preparation from some actual leg work this afternoon, let me leave you with some Christmas jokes for kids. Aaron is at the stage of telling some very bad kids jokes so maybe I can add these to his repertoire. And maybe some of you can go impress a little kid with a joke they can appreciate.

1. Which of Santas reindeer has bad manners? - Rude-alph

2. What do you get if you eat Christmas decorations? - Tinselitus

3. What is the best Christmas present in the world? - A broken drum - you cant beat it

4. What did the cow say on Christmas morning? - Moo-ry Christmas

5. What do monkeys sing at Christmas? Jungle bells, jungle bells!

Yes, I know these jokes are a little sad, but trust me, the kids will love them!

The Latest In My Sewing Adventures

2011-12-02T19:57:00.000+10:00

I mentioned in the last post that I have been quite distracted recently. Well, here are two of the reasons why...

The flat front shorts for Aaron were completed a little while ago but I never got around to putting a photo here. I thought the print of the material would immediately draw Aaron to the shorts but he's complaining that they are too light. Whats that supposed to mean? Its summer! I told him to wear thicker underwear then he wouldn't notice the shorts as much.

I copied the pattern of the little overalls from one of Adrian's existing outfits and just made it bigger. Adrian likes his outfit and wants to put it on each time he happens to see it. He even says "Mama made it!".

I'm proud of both of these sewing accomplishments. Both have been finished very neatly on the inside and everything is precise.

I have several other unfinished projects just waiting to be completed before Christmas. Big ideas, big plans but poor time management so far has seen only two of them get done. There is a Spinosaurus still waiting to be 'embroidered', a pirate ship that is still in the conceptual stage and then there are the clothes that I want to make for myself. Some of the things I had planned were with Christmas type material so they HAVE to get done in the next couple of weeks. Wish me luck!

Driven To Distraction

2011-11-29T20:07:00.001+10:00

Yes, I have been very distracted over the past couple of weeks and haven't settled down long enough to blog. But then something happened last night and I got a super dose of distraction that has bumped me right back into the blogging zone.

You see this...

...this is not a cute face. Geckos are not cute. They, and frogs/toads, are what make me scream and jump sky high. Anyway, this was the closest image I could find of the view I had of a gecko last night. Also, it wasn't green but the creepier looking colorless variety. See here...

Oh AND, it didn't have a tail.

So, last night, after clogging, I went to my car, sat down and started the engine. As I started to drive, I see something flip flopping around my windscreen. Thought it was some dead leaves. But no....the thing kept flipping over and eventually, it got a good grip of the area right at my eye level - where I need to look out at the road. EEK! No, I didn't say that but I made some other noises that I just can't spell here. Sounded like a cross between a scream, a squirmy sound and a gasp.

This gecko held on there with its sticky feet and stared at me. I could see its black eyes and its stumpy fallen off tail area. Every so often, it would get flipped over but it always managed to right itself and get back to looking me in the eyes. Its eyes were huge and it looked like it was trying to communicate with me - "Please stop the car!" How was I supposed to concentrate on driving?

I didn't stop the car. I tried to speed up whenever I could but it stayed for almost the whole way home. Then it got flipped to the roof area and I thought I saw it fall down again to that area at the bottom of the windscreen with the holes that lead to the engine.

I couldn't be sure of where it was. If it was on the roof, how would I get out of the car? It might fall on me when I opened the door. If it went into those holes, it might work its way into the A/C ducting and then crawl in to the interior of the car some day. What can I do? I have spent today exiting the car quickly and looking around carefully before getting in.

Personal Petting Zoo

2011-11-15T20:23:00.001+10:00

On the weekend, we went to visit one of our clogging friends, John. He moved here from Yorkshire, England in the 1960s but still has a very strong accent. He is an extremely funny man once you figure out what he's saying. My father doesn't have an overly strong Malaysian accent when he is in Australia but sometimes, John can't understand him. They often end up asking each other to speak English!

Each week, John brings fresh, free range, organic eggs to clogging class to sell and we always get some. He told us that he's got chickens, ducks, geese and 'a few other animals'. And, he has often invited us to take Aaron and Adrian there to look at the animals.

When we got there, we were amazed at the variety of pets he had. When I asked him how he started this huge collection of animals, he explained that he grew up on a farm and its just part of him. Some of these animals were purchased by him but others were given to him by other people that just couldn't look after them anymore.

The first 'wow' moment came when we drove through the gates and saw that he had several alpaca lazing around in the shade. Supposedly, they are the least affectionate of all his animals and actually spit at people. One of them did try doing that but thankfully, it only managed a sort of dry spitting noise. Phew! I thought they looked a little strange because their necks appeared to be the same length as their legs.This baby one was the cutest.

As he brought out the food to feed the animals, several little ponies trotted up. They were Aaron's favourite.

As if the ponies weren't enough of a surprise, eighteen deer suddenly come out from behind a shed. They were very nervous to see us and stayed away most of the time but they were beautiful, my favorite. This isn't a great photo of the deer but it shows you part of John's property. I like all the space and all the old farm equipment that he has used to 'decorate' the place with.

Apart from these, he also had peacocks, goats and turkeys. All the animals were well cared for and, as he puts it 'half human'. He had a sort of 'best buddies' relationship with them all, including one particular chicken that would obey his commands. The goat couldn't get enough of his petting and just stayed by him the whole time we were there.

It was wonderful to be as delighted as my children were to see all these animals. Its not that I haven't seen them before but I did not expect to see them here.

'IM' in My Life

2011-11-11T11:51:00.001+10:00

Does anybody else remember IRC-ing with cyan font on a black screen? The black screen in front of a huge, bulky monitor?

I know my first taste of IRC was in the computer lab in my first year of university. My nick was 'Forever' and I somehow found myself an IRC friend called 'Endlessly'. I had no idea at all who this person was and of course no way of knowing if whatever he/she said was true but we IRC-ed every single day, for hours. This person was a buddy! Eventually, I started chatting with my real life friends as well. And now, much older, I definitely don't chat with anybody that I don't know in the real world.

I don't know about other stay-at-home moms but Instant Messaging is my best friend. Some days, its the only form of adult conversation I have. I don't do Facebook or Twitter and blogging is for other reasons so IM is where I go to virtually hang out with my friends. There are a few that I chat with on a daily basis and then a range of them that I check in on every once in awhile when I feel like having the 'Its been awhile, what have you been up to' type of conversation.

My 'Daily Friends' are all overseas but its as if they are in the house with me. Its easy to have an easy conversation about nothing or a more meaningful one about the stresses of the day. I like to be able to provide some sort of support and a 'listening ear' (or at least a responsive IM screen) to my friends as well. And its also nice when they give me a little encouragement for my day.

Just the other day, I had Aaron and Adrian making a mess of the place while I was trying to get dinner ready. An old friend was online and telling me jokes that I would go read in between cutting up the carrots and celery. It was as if he was right there in the kitchen with me, lightening up a stressful, end of day, situation.

What I don't do is a video chat. That would just put the stress straight back into my life. I would have to look good. The background would need to be presentable. And, I can't be shoving the kids away when I want those few extra minutes of chatting. Come to think of it, I don't like using the voice function either. I just like the flexibility that typing my words gives me.

So, thank you to whoever it is that invented IM-ing. It supposedly pre-dates the internet but I don't have time to do thorough research for that name now. What I can tell you is that, according to Wikipedia, a man named Alexander 'Sandy' Trevor created the first dedicated online chat service in 1980.

Shipards Herb Farm

2011-11-08T20:25:00.002+10:00

For those of you that have been faithfully following my increasingly sporadic blogging here, you'll know that Aaron has been having a lot of ulcers on his tongue. After many visits to the pediatricians and multiple blood tests, they still have no 'answer' for me. In fact, they are giving me the "some people are just that way" line.

Well, we're not going to give up so easily. According to the 'schedule' that his ulcers seem to follow, Aaron should be getting them anytime this week. So last week, we took a drive to Nambour to visit Shipards Herb Farm. It looks messy but there were hundreds of herbs there. This photo shows the area for visiters to walk around.

Here's a photo of the rest of the farm that was off limits to visitors.

Isabell Shipard is supposedly Australia's most knowledgeable person on herbs and has been researching and working with herbs for the past 30 years. She certainly was very helpful and offered many suggestions for how we could try to help Aaron.

I bought some Herb Robert tea and some Licorice. We also bought the Licorice plant and I've also gotten some seeds for the Herb Robert from my aunt so we've started growing them in our garden as well.

The information on Herb Robert (and the other herbs on the website) was very interesting. Briefly, when used regularly, it enhances the immune system. The germanium it contains provides an "antibiotic, antiviral, antioxidant arsenal". Sounds good doesn't it?? If you have the time, have a browse through here.

We got the Licorice to help make the Herb Robert more palatable for Aaron but it also has many medicinal properties. I've heard about Licorice before in Chinese herbal remedies but I never bothered to read about it until now. There is a long, looong list of ailments that it is supposedly good for coughs, colds, wheezing, lung complaints, hoarseness, mucus congestion, tonsillitis, abdominal pain, nausea, poor appetite, fatigue, food poisoning, fevers, fluid retention, edema......and the list goes on and on. Check out the full details here.

I'm not a total believer yet and I don't have high hopes that this will help Aaron avoid his ulcers this month but I think I believe that there will be long term benefits to taking these herbs regularly.

When Did I Become A Referee?

2011-11-02T20:30:00.000+10:00

I don't like barking like a dog or stomping around like the irate mother that I sometimes am. Despite the age difference I have seen them play extremely well together. So, its not like I'm asking for the impossible. But these two boys! Why don't they just do that the whole time? Why do they need to provoke each other? Isn't it more fun when you have a happy playmate? And then, why change a calm and peaceful game into some risky, jump off the side of the house, super hero game? (No need for anybody to answer these questions...)

Anyway, I often find myself suddenly jumping up and yelling out commands. Or stomping up to them and taking something away. Its not a nice feeling and I'm sure it doesn't look pretty. Yes, there is always the option of calmly voicing my opinion but I'm not good at that yet. There is good news though...

I had a brilliant idea this afternoon. And I think that they (or at least Aaron), might think its a fun game to play for awhile.

Firstly, I realized that I have a new role. Take a look at this definition from Wikipedia...

A referee is the person of authority, in a variety of sports, who is responsible for presiding over the game from a neutral point of view and making on the fly decisions that enforce the rules of the sport.

Supposedly I am the person in charge here and the antics that these two boys get up to each day can well be classified as some sort of sport. I try to be neutral and the decisions are definitely on the fly. The rules are probably not as clear cut as professional sports but everybody knows there are rules.

Now back to my latest parenting idea. Its a small step and is extremely simple but I think that with the right introduction to it and a few fun rounds, it might help me out. I'm introducing the Yellow and Red card system.

You don't think a whistle would be too much like Captain von Trapp do you?

Email Sign Offs

2011-10-24T20:40:00.003+10:00

Has anybody else got stuck at the end of an email because they didn't know what to put on that line above their name? I just did. It took me a minute to write the email and nearly half and hour to end it.

I must have so much time on my hands tonight that I'm pondering the various meanings of email sign offs. My usual is 'regards'. If it want it to sound a tad warmer, I use 'take care'. If its just meaningless emails on Facebook then I probably put a 'cheers' on the end or just not have anything before my name.

But when I really think of it, they sound a little fake. I would genuinely like to say 'Have a nice day!' but I always think that the other person would just assume that I don't really mean it. So, I leave that off. For my own fun, I would like to just stick a 'Live Long and Prosper' permanently before my name but that would make people think I'm odd.

It turns out that there are plenty of articles on this topic. The funniest site I stumbled across was this list of email signatures :

1. Warning: Dates in Calendar are closer than they appear.

3. Give me ambiguity or give me something else.

4. I.R.S.: We've got what it takes to take what you've got!

5. We are born naked, wet and hungry. Then things get worse.

6. Make it idiot proof and someone will make a better idiot.
He who laughs last thinks slowest!

7. Always remember you're unique, just like everyone else.

8. Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at math.

9. Artificial Intelligence usually beats real stupidity.

10. Hard work has a future payoff. Laziness pays off now.

11. "Very funny, Scotty. Now beam down my clothes."

12. Puritanism: The haunting fear that someone, somewhere may be happy.

13. Consciousness: that annoying time between naps.

14. I don't suffer from insanity. I enjoy every minute of it.

15. Better to understand a little than to misunderstand a lot.

16. Where there's a will, I want to be in it.

17. Okay, who put a "stop payment" on my reality check?

18. We have enough youth, how about a fountain of SMART?

19. All generalizations are false.

20. Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.

21. C program run. C program crash. C programmer quit.

More Photos From Our Garden

2011-10-21T20:31:00.007+10:00

I can't help it. Adrian was doing such a good job at watering the plants this morning that I just have to share it here. Both Aaron and Adrian seem to be growing up with gardening as a very normal, every day part of life. They enjoy it out there and even ask to do weeding! For example, Aaron might say "Can we watch TV?", I'll say "No". He'll think awhile and then jump up and down asking "Can we do weeding instead?? Please!" And Adrian, well, he just gets excited about whatever Aaron is getting excited about.

Definitely very different to how I was when I was a kid. In fact, up until two years ago, I detested having to do anything in the garden.

These photos were taken right after we came home from dropping Aaron off at school so there wasn't even the older brother influence around to make him do all this work while I walked around with my camera.

Aaron's Carrots

2011-10-17T19:53:00.007+10:00

Around six months ago, Aaron said that he would like to plant carrots in our garden. So, out we went to get some seedlings. I should have bought some seeds but the little punnets of seedlings looked very cute and I thought it would save us a teeny bit of time.

Over the past month, I've been trying to check on the carrots by digging around the sides. I always picked the one at the corner but that must have been the only dud one because there was no carrot there, just a little ball of pale orange.

Today, my father checked on a different one and look what we found!

We ended up pulling three out of the ground for dinner tonight. They aren't perfect looking and they didn't taste extra sweet but they were grown by Aaron.

By the way, this is the dud that I kept checking on over the past month.

I hope this was the only dud because we only had a total of 12 plants.

The Plus Side of a Kids Only Environment

2011-10-11T20:27:00.005+10:00

I've been in a very positive mood this week. To continue with that, I'm going to list as many positives as I can about not interacting much with other adults.

The lack of interaction with other adults has long been one of the major complaints of stay at home moms. I've definitely felt that way too but as I "listened" to the few friends I do stay in touch with through instant messaging, it occurred to me that there are a few benefits to hanging out with kids and only kids.

1) For most of the day, I am treated to genuine smiles and laughter.

2) When they are unhappy about something, they let me know clearly and its easily fixed with a cuddle or some food. And then, they forget all about the issue without holding a grudge.

3) Except for my own, I don't need to deal with other people's stupidity or inefficiency.

4) There is only awe and admiration for the things in our world with children around.

5) We live and experience the present. Little children don't plot, have no hindsight, and don't try to manoeuvre themselves ahead of the competition.

6) I don't have to feel anxious that I'm going to miss a deadline and even if I do, nobody berates or belittles me.

7) I am only surrounded by people who love me. They might throw a ball in my face every now and then or wet my clothes but there aren't any knives in my back.

8) I never need to feel self conscious about the way I look, the ideas that I have or the actions I carry out.

9) New ideas are readily tried out.

There are probably many more than this but I'll stop now. I think many of these only exist when children are very young and I feel lucky to be enjoying every day of it.

Crazy Pasta Making

2011-10-11T20:00:00.007+10:00

I've been meaning to put up these pictures for several days now but I've had a sudden burst of inspiration and have started on several craft projects at once. Anyway, the whole family had so much fun making our own pasta for the first time that I just had to share these silly photos.

But first, a serious one of Aaron trying his hand at kneading the dough. It wasn't only his first time kneading anything, it was also mine. I've never even made play dough let alone any other type of food that needs dough. It was messy work! Our eggs went everywhere before I got things under control for Aaron to try out.

Finally, we got to try out the new pasta maker. The instructions just said to keep putting the dough through at each of the settings from one through to nine. So thats what we did...

Yes, I realise now that I should use smaller balls of dough. I also know now that I've got to have something setup to hang the cut pasta up before we cook them. This time, we grabbed some chopsticks but it wasn't practical. He eventually ended up with three chopsticks in each hand.

Dinner was a lot later than usual but we loved it. It wasn't really very hard to make and now that I know what to expect, I think we will be a lot quicker the next time. In fact, that time is going to be tomorrow but instead of making pasta, we're making 'pan mee'. This is a Hokkien style noodle - same ingredients as pasta but in different proportions.

Not Yet A Smooth Talker

2011-10-02T19:02:00.004+10:00

We all know that when a child gives his opinion about something, its usually a very honest one. Of course, I have been treated to several less flattering remarks like "I think your bum looks a bit big in that." but I think Aaron is just repeating what I say.

As we were leaving to go to Mass this morning, Aaron noticed my new shoes and was quick to announce how good they looked, and how they looked nice on me. I thanked him and thought to myself that perhaps, he will grow up to be one of those people that genuinely compliment others.

Two seconds later, I thought I had confirmation that he was definitely going to be one of those people. Either that or a real ladies man. He was gushing about how he thought I looked very pretty today. "What did you do?" and "Did you do something different?" and "You are so pretty!" He went on and on, completely unprompted. He didn't follow on from there by asking for something and neither was he 'naughty' in the minutes before. He was just very sweet.

Yes, I got a real buzz from it and he was completely well behaved for the entire time we were at mass. Unfortunately, right at the end, as he sat there looking at me, he said "Hey Ma, I can see all the little holes on your face. They're like freckles but not. Why are they there?"

EEK! They are my pores. My ENLARGED pores! I suppose they would seem large if you look at them from 10cm away. And y'know, the light wasn't exactly very flattering either. Whatever the case, that was enough motivation for me to instantly commit to a stricter daily face cleansing/toning/moisturizing regimen. Whatever it takes!

So, he's not a smooth talker yet. Thats ok. He just needs a few lessons in tactfulness. I'd rather he was an honest person instead of one of those that are full of compliments that you're not sure if you should believe.

Adrian's 'New' Playhouse

2011-09-28T19:54:00.005+10:00

When Aaron was just over two years old, we happened to be in Brisbane on holiday. One day, we came across a used playhouse and promptly brought it home with us. You can read all about it here and check out a photo of the two year old Aaron.

Fast forward nearly three full years and the playhouse is back in action. I put it away when Adrian was born so that it could be a 'new' toy when he was old enough to appreciate it. Its very appreciated now!

And as you can see, I have added a new kitchen.

I really enjoy watching the both of them playing in that house. Actually, not a 'house' but the restaurant that Aaron said it was two years ago. They cook me dino burgers and other delicacies and deliver it to me while I sit and surf the web.

A Weekend To Myself

2011-09-25T18:27:00.002+10:00

I have had an awful lot of fun this weekend. Not only did I spend almost the whole time clogging, but I was completely free of my parenting responsibilities. It was unbelievable. I didn't have to deal with any whining, get people to the toilet on time, clean up messes, make any meals, pick up toys, think up the next interesting activity. Nothing!

This was the Aussie Clog weekend - a clogging camp. Its actually a stay over affair starting from Friday night and ending after lunch on Sunday but I think I'll have to wait until next year to leave them for that long a stretch. I stayed for the day sessions this year and it was good enough for me.

My brain and body have had an incredible workout. I think what I like best about clogging is that it not only pushes my brain to remember new steps but it also forces it to tell my feet to move in those ways. The harder a dance, the more I like it.

Although I was looking forward to this weekend for months, I was seriously considering not going because I was worried that I wouldn't know how to fit in with the crowd. This stay-at-home-mothering gig has really eaten into my socializing skills!

My children have become the avenue that I use to meet new people. Its not really by choice but just the way things are. They are also my excuse to leave an event early, or get out of making small talk - well, not so much an 'excuse' but very often a genuine reason. Without them hanging around me and distracting me, I felt a bit exposed and unsure of how to approach a group, sit down and just have a chat.

The crowd at the weekend weren't even strangers. I see half of them on a weekly basis but in the class setting, its easier. There is only a few minutes of chatting time in between dances. This weekend, there was morning tea, lunch and afternoon tea to negotiate. Eek!

In the end, everything worked out and I'm glad that my insecurities didn't stop me from enjoying some great clogging. I did feel uncomfortable and awkward for a lot of the time but I think I put in a good effort at learning to stand by myself again, without the shield of my children.

Things You See and Hear In The Supermarket Line

2011-09-20T20:09:00.006+10:00

Waiting in line at the supermarket is usually a mundane situation. If I don't have to keep either Aaron or Adrian in line, I'm usually looking at what the person in front of me has picked up. I don't think I'm judging the person in any way, I'm just looking at them and looking at what their diet appears to be like based on what I can see in their trolley. Sometimes I see an early twenties person and they have packets of chips and Coke. I think "Yummy! I wish I was young and oblivious enough to shop that way."

Well, today was a bit of a special day in the supermarket line. It wasn't so much what I saw but what I heard.

There was a lady and her two daughters behind me. The mother was going on about how she had to rush back to get ready the guest bedrooms. It sounded ordinary enough but then she said "Oh, don't forget to wash the guest toothbrushes. Have to make sure they're clean and dry before I put them out."

WHAT??!?!? EEW!

First of all, don't people usually bring their own tooth brushes?

Secondly, if somebody did forget, wouldn't you offer them a new and packaged one?

And thirdly, it sounds like this is a normal practice with the lady. Just like how hotels offer you a toothbrush, she offers her guests one. A used one.

That lady and her hospitality has been popping in and out of my thoughts since going shopping this morning. This isn't a normal practice right? People don't provide house guests with toothbrushes do they?

Maybe I misheard what the lady was saying....but I don't think so...

Change of Season

2011-09-17T19:43:00.009+10:00

Yes, I've been lazy again. Its been a whole week since my last post. I don't think I've done all that much out of the usual routine but it feels as if a lot has happened. We've definitely move into Spring (maybe even Summer) and life feels quite different.

Mother nature must have been working overtime to bring the hot weather. Last week I was still wearing a jacket on most days but I've since had to dig out my sleeveless tops and shorts. Its nearly 30 degrees Celsius these days! (By the way, one of the scariest moments in every year must be the first time I pull on my shorts after winter. Will they still fit?)

Also, seven days ago, Adrian was in a nappy 24 hours a day but as the weather warmed during the week, we have now moved to being nappy free whenever we're in the house. Its a LOT of extra work for me with all the false alarms and the real alarms that are missed but we've had a few successes. I feel a tiny bit sad about toilet training because its such a significant step away from babyhood.

Anyway, here are a few photos from our day at Southbank.

Giant Modified Disco Ball

You'll see from this next photo that I made up the name above for that ball of mirrors.

I was actually a little disappointed with that big ball because I thought the advertised photos showed children up close to it and touching the mirrors. But, this sign still had me spending longer than I would have in the sun. Firstly, it was the official name - Golden Casket Light Sphere. Somehow, that name makes me think of the afterlife with Casket, Light and Sphere. And then, there is the designers name...that had me laughing to myself for awhile. (click to make the photo bigger.)

This next display was more fun. It was an interactive light tunnel. The displays changed with movement within the tunnel. This photo shows Aaron's outline in red.

And here, the solid colored panels seemed to move with Aaron.

The school holidays are here and hopefully, we'll have a fun filled two weeks with some new experiences for me to share here.

Aussie Slang

2011-09-11T19:28:00.003+10:00

I picked up this hilarious book today - The Little Book of Great Aussie Slang. We were at the organic markets at Northey Street and this book was lying on a table with the sign 'Free Books', so, I picked it up, looked it through and took it home with me.

There are plenty in this book that I have never heard before and I thought I'd share a few here today.

1. Bend the elbow - to drink excessively.

2. Brick short of a wall - simple person.

3. Full as a fat woman's underwear - drunk.

4. Going to see a man about a dog - to urinate; to go somewhere without revealing exactly where.

5. If it was raining custard I'd only have a fork - to be very unlucky.

6. Lickety spit - a quick wash.

And look at these....

7. Call Ralph - to vomit.

8. Pavement Pizza - vomit

9. Chunder - vomit.

10. Yodel - vomit.

I wonder if there are people out there that really say these things.

No Wonder He's The Favourite

2011-09-07T21:27:00.005+10:00

There is no doubt about it. Favoritism is very much practiced in this household. Not by the adults of course, but by the two little ones.

The focus of all their love and attention is definitely on my father. They never refuse when he asks to share their food. He is the first one that they say 'Good Morning' to. For a long time, my father was also the only person that Adrian would give a kiss to. From the minute they realize he's awake until their bedtimes, they try their best to hang around him.

It really is no mystery why this is so. My father is like a big kid and is constantly thinking up new ways for them to have fun. Very often, it doesn't even need to be something new and exciting - just an everyday job will become fun.

He took them for an afternoon of watching the comings and goings at a huge construction site.

Here's a 'trapeze'...

And here's my poor father trying his best to get his garden in order.

And there you have it, the favorite adult in our family.

Curry Night

2011-09-04T19:31:00.005+10:00

Its been a long week for us. Aaron has had another attack-of-the-ulcers on his tongue. Thankfully, he was a little better today and I'm finally getting more than 5 minutes of uninterrupted time to myself.

Tonight, I think I'll relax in front of the TV. Before I do that, my aunt sent me this funny YouTube clip that some of you may be able to relate to.

I should go search for something like this on Belacan. For those who are unfamiliar with this extremely important ingredient in many Malaysian/Indonesian dishes, it sort of smells like something has hidden in one of the kitchen cupboards and died. Funny how something that smells that way can be so delicious.

Back Talk

2011-09-02T21:47:00.000+10:00

As far as I can remember, the thing that I got in trouble for most as a child was back talk. Or, as my mother would call it, "Answering back".

These days, I am hearing the words "Stop answering back" come out of my mouth more than I would like. To add more answering back to the answering back, Aaron asks "What do you mean by 'answering back'? I'm just answering you!"

Thats actually a tough question to answer. When you think about it, 'answering back' is what people do when somebody else speaks to them? No wonder he was confused when I told him not to. After a bit of Googling, it looks like the correct term is actually 'Backtalk'. (Thank goodness I didn't know this as a child or I might have been tempted to answer back my mother with "Its not answering back, its backtalk." I can just imagine the split ends of the rattan cane that she used. SCARY!)

So back to Aaron's backtalk. So far, its not usually rude. The most common responses I hear from him are 'Why?' and 'Why not?'.

Of course, out of irritation and exasperation, I do tell him to be quiet and not be rude but I know I'm not always fair. I don't like playing the "because-I-said-so" card but I have when I just had to get going or get something done. Supposedly one of the ways is to give them an opportunity to explain themselves first, and then, the parent explains the situation and what needs to be done. That would take ages!

I guess this is just another aspect of motherhood that I'm going to have to deal with. These boys won't stay sweet and innocent forever. I'd better come up with a better strategy that the "because-I-said-so" one. Maybe modify that you-explain-I-explain strategy into a bullet point format.

The Science of a Smile

2011-08-28T19:51:00.005+10:00

Mornings are an extremely busy time. I don't find it stressful but it is definitely hectic. On Friday morning, we were stopped at the lights and I smiled to myself. All of a sudden, I felt my whole face relax. I didn't even realize how much tension I was carrying around on my forehead, cheeks and scalp. In fact, I thought I felt that relaxation move down my spine. It felt really good. The lights, changed and I drove off.

At the next lights, I smiled again and once again, I felt some sort of release emanate from my mouth, across my face and scalp and down my spine. After that, I tried a few consecutive smiles and I thought felt the change each time although it diminished with each subsequent smile.

This got me thinking about the simple smile. We like being smiled at - genuinely smiled at and not a leering or crazy looking kind of course. And, I believe most people like smiling - and having the reasons to smile. Its such a powerful little gesture. And probably more powerful than I initially thought after my little experiment last week.

I came across two interesting articles about smiles. Both of them discuss the why and how we smile and its impact on other people. They also talk about fake smiles and how we intuitively recognize them. Unfortunately, neither one really goes in depth about the benefits of a smile to the person doing the smiling - that'll be my experiment. They are longish articles but worth a read through.

The first article, More To A Smile Than Lips And Teeth, is about a team that has tried to build a new scientific model of the smile. This supposedly accounts not only for the source of smiles but also how people perceive them.

Interestingly, the second one was published just 10 days ago and has almost the same title as what I have put on my blog here. Our Social Nature : The Surprising Science of A Smile is an interview with Marianne LaFrance who is the author of "Lip Service: Smiles in Life, Death, Trust, Lies, Work, Memory, Sex and Politics". I learnt something new from here. There is a single muscle that determines the sincerity of a smile - the obicularis occuli. This encircles the eye socket and is what causes crows feet wrinkles. Supposedly, most people can't deliberately cause a contraction of this muscle. It only happens if you smile from your heart!

Even if you don't read the two articles, try summoning a genuine smile the next time you're caught in traffic or waiting at a check out. You might feel a little silly smiling at nobody but then it might make you laugh and help you make a more genuine smile. See if you feel that release of tension.

Flash Back To 1988

2011-08-24T19:52:00.004+10:00

During the drive to Aaron's school this morning, I heard a familiar name come over the radio - "Roxette". Roxette!!! Two seconds later, I hear "1927". Does anybody else remember these two bands? There will be a Roxette concert, featuring 1927, next February 14. Will I be there? That is the question.

This takes me back to Grade 8. I was 12 and they were my absolute favorites (before, New Kids On The Block). I think I still remember the words to "The Look". And the 1927 album "...ish" is still one of my all time favorites. Oh wait, I should put my favorite song here so you can all listen while reading.

I know I only had tapes of Roxette and 1927. Did they even release the albums on CDs back then? It was just yesterday that I was telling a friend that I never really feel older. This doesn't exactly make me feel old, it just makes me think that some of my memories were from a long, long time ago.

It was fun to be reminded of the music that used to be part of my younger life. I've gone through several clips on YouTube, and it looks like I like the songs as much as I did 23 years ago. To show that I do keep with the times, I also looked through some Usher stuff.

Apart from nursery rhymes and other kiddy music, what was your first favorite song?

Off To The Doctor's Again

2011-08-20T21:52:00.005+10:00

Aaron has had four major breakouts of ulcers in his mouth these past two months. I'm sure we all know how much pain a single ulcer can cause and this poor boy has had to endure three or four ulcers at the same time during each of those breakouts. We were initially told that it was 'normal' in some people or it could be a food intolerance but finally, a younger GP flagged it as strange enough to refer us to a pediatrician. While she explained the need to see a specialist, she casually rang all sorts of alarm bells in my head by mentioning words like 'sinister' and 'auto-immune diseases'. Thank you very much for the gray hairs, doctor!

So, off we went yesterday. Surprisingly, we didn't have the usual 30 minute wait for an appointment at a doctors clinic. We only waited 10 minutes and the doctor was very apologetic about that wasted time. Maybe thats what the higher doctor's fees buys you.

As expected, we don't have any answers yet but at least an x-ray of his lymph glands has minimized the chances of it being any auto-immune disease. Phew! I hope those chances stay slim. To try to find out whats causing these outbreaks, we had to take Aaron for his very first blood tests. I was prepared for a traumatic time (for both him and me) but apart from a little nervousness, he was very brave. He just watched as they stuck the needle into him and sucked his blood out, something I can never do. We'll get those results next Wednesday.

I hope that bravery and all the bragging he did afterwards boosts his confidence because I have another order for blood tests in my bag. If he has another outbreak of ulcers, we're supposed to get some tests done during the painful period. I can't even get him to play during those times.

In the meantime, we now have another referral from the pediatrician to an E.N.T. specialist. The pediatrician took one look into Aaron's mouth and seemed blown away by how massive his tonsils were. I believe his exact words were that "they need their own postcodes". Great! Something else to help the production of gray hairs.

Working Together With Aaron

2011-08-15T19:40:00.006+10:00

My favorite day in each of Aaron's school terms is the day that we get to work with the child. For one whole hour every term, I get to see what he gets up to in his classroom. I wish they would make it a full day.

In the past, I've left it up to him to choose our activities but I've grown a little wiser and suggested we did one activity from each of the four areas (Practical Life, Sensorial, Language and Numbers) in the classroom today.

Remember that post about Flip Flop Competitiveness? Well, since then I've probably been a little too keen to find out from Aaron what he's been up to every day. I'll admit that I've been pushing him a little and getting frustrated because I was getting the impression that he isn't interested to learn new things. Thankfully, my mind is at peace again.

The one hour was incredibly enjoyable and was over too soon. With about 20 minutes left, I noticed that I did bring my camera and couldn't resist taking just a few photos.

He didn't initially show me his work with the South American map. It was lying, neatly, to one side of the class when we walked past and I asked him what sort of game it was. Then, he told me that he had been making labels for the South American countries today. Ah....I felt proud. We sat down at it awhile and then put it aside again for him to continue tomorrow.

After the map, we went to check the laundry that some other children had hung out to dry.

Aaron showed me his newly acquired ironing skills.

I wish I could have spent more time with him there. Better yet, I wish that our home was setup that way and I could be his teacher! Its so much fun.

Grossness With Grace

2011-08-13T19:52:00.006+10:00

Sometimes, I have to be gross. So if you're eating or don't feel like going 'EEWWWW!', you'd better come back another day.

Its a dirty, dirty job but someone's got to do it. Yes, of course I'm talking about motherhood. Everybody knows that along with the baby comes dirty nappies and spit up. But nobody can really imagine the type of gross situations that these little ones can put a parent in. So, this post may be gross but its also part of every day life in many households.

So far, I've had 'EEWWWW' situations like finding a smear of you-know-what next to Aaron's lips.

And, I've also had totally gross panic-turned-to-sheer-horror situations like when I thought Adrian was bleeding in bed next to me only to have my hand quickly covered in squishy you-know-what as I tried to check for where he was bleeding from.

After 5 years of work experience now,I think I've graduated from the Grossness Class. I may still think 'EEWWW!' to myself but those gross situations are handled as easily as wiping a snotty nose. There is no more apprehension, gagging and general squeamishness.

Last week, we had a nappy that wasn't fastened properly. This was only discovered when I noticed little brown gobs polka dotting the floor. It was a Modern Cloth Nappy which actually ups the grossness factor when it come to cleaning up. And don't forget that its winter here and Adrian had track pants with the tight ankles on. But, I didn't feel any stress about it at all. Lots and lots of wet wipes got Adrian and the floor cleaned up in no time. High powered spray of the clothes got that mess sorted.

And today, Adrian cried so hard that he vomited all over my lap. That cheeky little guy managed to keep himself completely clean. Immediately, Richard tried to take him away so I could clean up but I said "No no, he's too upset. Let him get happy first." I had him on my hip for a good 10 minutes after that, cuddling and playing with him. The smell was awful and it looked disgusting against my black pants. In the end, it was Adrian that pulled away and I think it was because the smell was getting to him.

I honestly, did not feel even the tiniest bit disgusted with all of that smelly stuff on me. That realization felt incredibly strange and I felt a strange sense of pride. I'm one of those experienced mothers. The disclaimer here is that I think my new powers only works if the situations were created by my own children.

C'mon parents, leave me a comment about your most disgusting situation.

He's FIVE

2011-08-09T20:38:00.010+10:00

Aaron had his 5th Birthday on Sunday. We had planned for a quiet day with the family but it ended up being a fun, and somewhat more noisy day, playing with sand. It was all put into action at the last minute. I baked the cake at 6am and then we all went to Mass at 8.30am. After Mass, I asked one of our Sunday hang-out friends if they were free to join us for a bit of play. They were, and an hour later, we were all by the beach. We had the cake for morning tea and continued with more sand castle building. The kids were still having fun at lunch time so we bought some fish and chips for lunch.

It was a simple, no fuss birthday 'party'. There is always a lot of hype around birthdays and its even more intense since Aaron started going to kindergarten. I want Aaron to feel that birthdays are special but aren't only about birthday parties, presents and being the center of attention. While he's little and his family are still the most wonderful people in the world to him, I'd like to make birthdays an extra special family day.

As I looked through the photos from the day, I was reminded of the birthdays he had in Palembang. (We did organised the whole party thing but that was because the rest of the days were so mundane.) More specifically, it occurred to me that the older he got, the smaller his cakes were. Of course, this last one had the added ingredients of all my love and best wishes for him.

2nd Birthday:

3rd Birthday:

5th Birthday:

At this rate, it won't be long before he has a birthday cupcake!

Breaking All The Rules

2011-08-05T09:35:00.004+10:00

WOW! Since putting up my last post, I've more or less been asleep for the past three days. And when I wasn't asleep, I was breaking almost every rule I set for my parenting self.

It all started on Tuesday morning when I just couldn't get myself warm. I stood in the sun with two jumpers on and still, I was freezing. After that, I couldn't keep awake! I had no choice then but to put a DVD on so that I could snooze while the TV babysat. And, on top of not being able to stay awake, I also couldn't keep any food in me. I was miserable!

Aaron and Adrian were the ones that 'benefited' from it all. I don't think they've ever watched so much TV and not needed to pick up any toys, brush their teeth or finish their meals. Its all a bit of a blur to me and I'm not sure what else they got up to.

I do remember vaguely that Aaron saw a clip of Julia Gillard on the "7pm Project" (30 minute talk show on whatever is in the news). After that, they had Dani, one of the Masterchef contestants on and he asked the question "Why is Dani on the government?

He was so confused. He knows who Julia Gillard is and must have thought that the 7pm Project setting she was in was 'the government'. My poor son. I haven't had the energy to clear that mess up yet.

I think I need another nap now, just in case. Aaron will be turning 5 this weekend and I have plans that I need to be fit to carry out.

If I Had My Child to Raise Over Again

2011-08-01T19:46:00.003+10:00

I don't look for poems to read but every now and then, I come across one that really speaks to me.

This poem by Diana Loomans was in the second chapter of the book "The no-cry discipline solution" by Elizabeth Pantley.

If I Had My Child to Raise Over Again
by Diana Loomans

If I had my child to raise all over again,
I'd finger paint more, and point the finger less.
I'd do less correcting, and more connecting.
I'd take my eyes off my watch, and watch with my eyes.
I would care to know less, and know to care more.
I'd take more hikes and fly more kites.
I'd stop playing serious, and seriously play.
I would run through more fields and gaze at more stars.
I'd do more hugging, and less tugging.
I would be firm less often, and affirm much more.
I'd build self-esteem first, and the house later.
I'd teach less about the love of power,
And more about the power of love.

I don't need a grown child to realize that I want to enjoy and absorb every second of Aaron's and Adrian's childhood. Just thinking of Aaron turning five in a few short days is enough for me to miss his early years.

At the same time, I can't leave it up to Adrian to smack himself and need to get better at my disciplining skills.

No Need For Me To Smack

2011-07-30T19:25:00.005+10:00

Adrian is at that stage where he is really experimenting, exploring and really testing his boundaries. Let me rephrase that, he's pushing his boundaries, with an invisible bulldozer.

Seriously, I don't remember it being this hard to establish boundaries. Maybe it was and I've just forgotten the numerous times I had to yell out "Stop", "Looking Only" and "Out!". Am I supposed to look as this as fun and enjoy it because it will be over and forgotten soon enough?

With Aaron, I did try smacking but I did not find it effective. Yes, it may stop the undesirable behavior in a toddler instantly but it also teaches them to smack back. That was enough reason for me not to smack. I found other ways and Aaron and I both survived his toddler years.

Now with Adrian, I did not intend to do any smacking because in my mind, it doesn't work. BUT, I have. And guess what? Its sort of working in a really funny way.

Whenever he does something he knows he shouldn't be doing, he looks to see where I am. When he thinks its 'safe', he does it. As soon as he sees that I've seen him, he stops it and quickly starts to smacking his own hands. I get to say "It wasn't me!"

So, at least I can safely assume that he knows what he should and shouldn't be doing. All I need to figure out is how to get him to stop doing it when he thinks I'm not looking (or when I'm really not looking).

To conclude, I still do not believe in smacking as a form of discipline but I do admit that it seems to have communicated a lasting message.

Its A No Brainer - Wash Your Hands

2011-07-27T19:56:00.005+10:00

Aaron and Adrian constantly have their fingers (and sometimes their toes) in their mouths. It really makes me so angry because life is horrible for them and, more importantly, for me, when they get sick.

Trying to keep them healthy has made me more conscious of germs that I come in contact with as well. Door handles, elevator buttons, money, ATM machine, the equipment in the gym - EVERYTHING! Supposedly, the steering wheel is another extremely germy place because we touch all those other areas and then wipe the germs onto the wheel as we drive.

I've often wondered how long bacteria can live on surfaces but never took the time to try to find the answer, until now.

According to this website, the safest surface you can touch, if you had to touch one outside, is a hard, non-porous one like a countertop or glass surface. And if that hard surface happens to be in the sun, you're even safer because the ultra violet rays would have killed off any bacteria almost instantly. Hey...so maybe the steering wheel isn't so bad after all.

And as for how long they live on surfaces. Well, if its a wet/damp surface, like a kitchen sponge, then it could stay alive for days. Money is another horrible surface. Coins may be hard and non-porous but the notes can house bacteria for weeks! And of course, since they get touched by so many hands, they are perpetual bacteria colonies. Think about that the next time you pay for a snack and then immediately start eating it without washing your hands first. YUCK!

Well, enough of all that. Go wash your hands and don't touch your face. Imagine the germs on your keyboard and mouse.

My New Helper

2011-07-25T20:57:00.003+10:00

I may live in a house full of boys but I'm making sure that they're getting trained right. Richard makes my breakfast of course, gets me a hot drink on these cold winter nights, cleans up after dinner every night and lots of other things. I've been working on him for nearly 11 years now. Aaron is getting good at little jobs like getting me nappies and wet wipes in an emergency, occasionally bringing in the laundry and lately, helping me cut up the vegetables for dinner. So now, its time to start training Adrian.

*sigh* We've had a few hiccups in the training today. I have to remind myself to never turn my back on him, not even for one second.

Each morning, Adrian helps me with watering the plants. He's getting better at it but doesn't understand that its the roots that need the water. This isn't a new job for him but today, when I bent down to do a little weeding, he decided to drink out of the hose. Neither one of us thought that was very funny.

In the afternoons, Aaron and Adrian take a little plastic table and two plastic chairs out to the deck and have afternoon tea there. Aaron has been the one helping to put everything back in its place when they're done. I tried to get Adrian to help today by bringing in the two plates they used. Its a simple task that he already does when he's inside the house. So, I waited by the sink for him but he didn't come. He was outside playing with his little trains while the two plates appeared to have been thrown out, maybe frisbee style, onto the grass.

And finally, shower time. Without being asked Adrian volunteered to help Aaron take his PJs into the bathroom. Initiative! Sort of. He took them into the bathroom but by the time I go there, he was dipping them in and out of the toilet. What gave him that idea? Toilet paper I can understand but PJs??

He's cute, cheeky and makes me laugh but this little helper is making a lot of extra work.

Its Adrian's Time Now

2011-07-22T19:59:00.006+10:00

I can't believe its Friday already. With Aaron full days at kindergarten and Richard at work everyday, it was the first week in a long time that I spent most of my time alone with Adrian. I've been looking forward to this and it did not disappoint. Obviously he's full of energy but he's also ready and willing to learn anything new - better go look back at what I was doing with Aaron at this stage. The only think I don't need a reminder of is all things Thomas.

And, it looks like we're starting the whole Thomas & Friends phase again. Adrian probably has it better than Aaron did since there is a small collection of Thomas trains readily available for him to play with.

Its good for me too and this time around, I am an expert at train play and I know all the stories that go along with it.

Adrian hasn't been watching much of the Thomas DVDs yet so he's got things a bit mixed up at the moment. No matter what I tell him, he insists on putting the engine behind all the carriages and pushing the train along.

He'll figure it out soon enough. I'm guessing that we'll have another two years of train play.

Something else that he has started doing this week is "going off the beaten track". Literally. We have quite a long walk from the car park to Aaron's classroom twice a day. And now, its even longer because Adrian has made it into his daily hike across the bulging tree roots, the rocks, the fallen leaves and bark and a couple of zig-zag benches. Its back breaking work for me going after him because he doesn't realize what he can or can't do and just does everything. He tried to slide down the fireman's pole in the playground today. AAH!

Anyway, its all good and its all fun. I'm looking forward to an action packed weekend at some parks. Yes, more back breaking work but its all worth it.

Day 1 of Exercise Habit Forming

2011-07-20T10:33:00.005+10:00

Richard started his new job on Monday and I've been adjusting to life as a full time stay at home mother again. So far so good. I'm enjoying the one on one time that I get with Adrian now even more than I did before. The only downside is that I had forgotten how exhausting it is. Trying to keep things upbeat, keep everybody satisfied and being efficient/productive is hard work when you do it alone from 7-6pm.

Its 10.30am now and for the past two days I was exhausted by this time. I just sat around surfing the net aimlessly. Today is different. Instead of taking the extra 30 minutes of sleep that Richard gives me each day, I dragged myself to the gym by 6pm, stumbled into a class that was way too high impact for an out-of-shape person like me and now I am feeling GOOD!

I think we all know in our minds that the more active we are, the more energy we have. I had forgotten that it really is true. Plus, I feel a lot happier too from having already accomplished something for the day. I hadn't been to the gym in a couple of weeks and "fat", "waste of money" and "diet" were words that were coming out of me - and I felt grouchy.

Its definitely a love hate relationship between me and exercise. I was an every day exerciser up until moving back to Brisbane but I definitely was a chore on many days. I think the easiest way exercise is to make it a habit, something that I'd better get back into now. Supposedly, it takes 21 days to form a habit so make sure I do a post on August 10 about it.

To keep with my good humour for today, here are some one liners on exercise - not exactly motivational but fun anyway.

1. Being part of the human race does not count as exercise.

2. If God wanted me to touch my toes, he would have put them on my knees.

3. I'm on a strict running program. I started yesterday. I've only missed one day so far.

4. I get a lot of mental exercise by thinking up weird ways to avoid physical exercise.

5. I've just spent an hour in a stationary car and am working my way up to a stationary bike.

Sometimes, Its OK To Be Noisy

2011-07-17T20:50:00.005+10:00

Ah, another quiet Sunday lazing in front of the TV.

Oops, that wasn't us. It was our neighbour's Sunday. Except, they didn't exactly have it quiet either. The back of our house looks onto a block of apartments and right into one particular living room. I'm guessing that the noise from our side floats straight in there because they have their doors wide open all the time. What I've started doing is keeping our doors closed in the evenings when we're the noisiest.

Aaron had a friend over today. The other little boy is about half a year older, blond, blue eyes and nearly head and shoulders taller than Aaron. So physically, they look very very different. But they are amazingly in sync in all other ways. The way they talk about dinosaurs, their drawing styles and even the non-dinosaur interests that they have are similar.

Back to the story about the neighbours. Well, Aaron and his friend eventually made their way outdoors to play dinosaurs. They were having a fantastic time roaring and stomping around in their make belief world. Unfortunately, they both have the same shrill scream when they're caught and being devoured.

Personally, I didn't think they were all that noisy. It wasn't really all that annoying a noise. But, after 10 minutes, I hear this shrill "SHUT UP!" coming from their living room. I did feel slightly embarrassed and tried to keep the boys a little more quiet but they just couldn't control themselves and I moved them indoors.

Thinking about it now, I think I should have left them out there. Our house is surrounded on all sides by 3 and 4 storey apartment blocks. They are mostly inhabited by singles or couples without kids. And guess what? They sometimes have parties that last late into the night when little boys are trying to sleeping. They had noisy barbecues when Adrian was a newborn and needing 3 naps a day. I understood and never yelled over to them. They were noisy but not excessive so I dealt with it because I acknowledge that they are at that stage in their lives.

So, today, we were noisy but not excessively and I have been very conscious about the noise level everyday so I know it hasn't been disturbing on other days. I think they should acknowledge that kids being happy and playing without restraint for a little while is valid because that is the stage they are at in life.

Its probably one of those things they won't know until they have some noisy children of their own.

First And Last Crochet Project

2011-07-15T20:23:00.004+10:00

I started this project almost exactly a month ago on June 12. I saw a made up cardigan at the Textile Art Festival and thought "Yeah, I can do that. Shouldn't take too long."

RIGHT! The last time I did any crochet was when I was in Grade 8. We didn't even make anything real back then, just a few sample stitches for a little rectangle. The pattern that I bought only cost $3 but the recommended balls of wool was something like $15 per ball and it needed 4 balls. I felt confident that I could get something done but I didn't think I should be spending $60 on wool just in case it didn't work out. So, I bought $2 balls of wool. On hindsight, after all the work I went through, I do wish I got some $5 balls instead.

I was very excited about getting started. It quickly became apparent that I only knew the most basic stitch and that one isn't even used very much. The first step was for me to decipher the pattern.

Crochet patterns come in a language as foreign to me as programming languages. Look at this :

2ch, 2htrtog twice, 1htr in each st to end.

With the help of the Google and YouTube, I finally figured everything out and got started. I swear, I worked on this every day since June 12. It has been tedious, tiring, frustrating and not as much fun as I thought it would be. Its no like sewing something where I can see the results within a few days. This one month delay in gratification had me quite discouraged. I even forgot to follow the instructions for the buttonholes because I was in such a hurry to see the end results.

When I got to the sleeves, I started thinking that I'll make them extra long because all this hard work means that Adrian MUST wear the cardigan in winter 2011 AND 2012.

I finally got everything finished at about 1am last night. I got long buttons that fit through the gaps in the stitches.

It looks pretty cute on him but now I'm worried that he's going to get it dirty or hook it on something while he's climbing around everywhere. I don't even know how to wash woolen stuff!

I enjoyed the initial stages of this project when I felt that I was learning something almost completely new. And now, I do feel a sense of accomplishment that I've completed the cardigan but I definitely will not be jumping into another crochet project anytime soon. I'm grateful that Aaron has felt the need to ask me to make him one as well. Phew!

Kids and The Things They Say

2011-07-10T22:28:00.008+10:00

Here's another two to go in my virtual memory box of unexpected things that children say.

The first one is from Aaron.
"What is the most important job for a child?"

This came out of nowhere while I was making up a batch of food for Adrian and trying to get our dinner ready at the same time. I wasn't in the right frame of mind for this. Was it a loaded question? Was his cunning little mind trying to trap me into saying something I was going to regret at bedtime? Then I looked at his face and it looked pretty innocent. Perhaps he was genuinely wondering what his role in the family or in life was? So, then my mind starts racing about whether I should use this to my advantage somehow. Or give him the 'be happy and play' answer? I'm not entirely pleased with my answer. I know he wants a simple one but there could be a whole essay written on this for the serious mom. I gave a quick first job to learn to care and be respectful towards your family and environment. And second job was to play and by 'play' I mean learn new things from lego, his books and his numbers, and enjoy it.

So, almost all my readers are parents, what do you think? What IS the most important job for a child?

Now for Adrian. You may recognize these lyrics, "My Mama told me when I was your, That we were all born superstars", from "Born This way" by Lady Gaga. Aaron has mis-heard this on the radio and has been teaching it to Adrian as "My Mama told me when I was young, that I had a smelly bum!". Adrian is getting good with words and while out yesterday, we were seated on the same bench as a girl wearing low rise jeans and a midriff baring top. The girl had her back to us and guess what song Adrian chose to show off his singing??

Ah...these boys! They really crack me up sometimes.

Observations From My Clogging Class

2011-07-08T09:00:00.003+10:00

I'm a very confused person sometimes. I grew up here but I also grew up in Malaysia. I can see how life works both here in Australia and Malaysia but I'm not an exact fit into the cogs of either country. Yet, I don't feel out of place either. If I want to fit in with a bunch of Malaysians, I just need to start talking about food.

Fitting in with the Australian's is what I'm blogging about today. This is definitely not how all Australians are and I don't want anybody out there getting offended or taking this as the absolute picture of what life with Australians is like. I'm going to limit this to the context of my clogging class.

Each Thursday, I meet a wonderful group of older ladies at both my clogging class. By older I mean waaaaaaay older than me but they are are all energetic, witty and positive. Positive is the key word here when you start chatting with them. Everything is wonderful, beautiful, fantastic, great - POSITIVE.

It reminds me of a satirical book that I bought for Richard when he first started living in Australia. The book was titled "How to be Normal in Australia" and there is a specific chapter on how no Australian will ever admit to life being in the dumps. Their house could have burnt down and they might have broken all the bones in their body but if you ask them "How are you?" the answer is inevitably going to be "GREAT!".

So back to those ladies. I don't know if it starts off as half-baked positive attitudes that infect each other and then work to generate genuine positive energy that feeds back in to the system or what but they are always upbeat. And, talking to them always seems to make me feel more upbeat too.

This is all good right?

Now here comes the strange bit. They are never that upbeat about their clogging. Even when they can do it! Maybe this is what makes them so likable. There is never any boasting or any remote showing off going on. If anything, there is effort put into projecting an image afterwards that the are unable to do the dance.

Most of the time, I just go with the flow and be one of the crowd.

Every so often, I just can't do it. Now comes the part about me not fitting in with the group. It happened last night. We were doing a hard dance, everyone was struggling but we were making progress. They were there complaining and whinging, being very negative. I didn't join in and was having a drink at the side but you can see that they really wanted to do it and its within their capabilities but there was all this "I can't do it.", "There is no way I'll every remember that." and "This is torture."

I wonder why all that upbeat and positive energy doesn't carry through in situations like this? Why isn't there a "Let make it happen" attitude? Wouldn't that be more fun?

I don't worry about being excluded because my age does that naturally for me. If I get a step and don't complain about it, they come up to me and say "I wish I was your age again." And then its my turn to become all upbeat for them!

So thats my observation of a small snippet of the Australian attitude.

From the ER to the Seaside

2011-07-03T19:48:00.007+10:00

We've had sort of sick kids in this house again. They've both had ear infections this past week. As usual, you couldn't tell that there was anything wrong with Adrian. And Aaron seemed to only feel uncomfortable whenever it was time to eat, pick up toys or go to bed. As I said "sort of sick" kids with a strange kind of infection!

Unfortunately, Aaron started complaining about his tongue being sore and was in a lot of pain as he was going to bed. He was really suffering. I came up with a brilliant plant to beat all the waiting times at the doctors. Seeing that it was a Sunday and our usual slow moving doctors practice was closed, we would go to the ER as soon as they woke up - which is usually 5 or 6am. Surely thats a quiet time.

This morning, we arrived at the ER at 7am and there was only one other person ahead of us. I know that they prioritized based on urgency and I also knew that we wouldn't be an urgent case. But how long could it be with just one other non-urgent case ahead of us? It took about forty five minutes for us to get seen. So, the wait time was the same as where we normally go! And guess what? The doctor couldn't tell what was wrong with him. He still had the pain but nothing was visible. We were told to monitor and go see the GP on Tuesday.

By then, I had my second brilliant plan. We were already halfway to Shornecliff and Aaron's tongue seemed to only be sore if he thought about it. A morning of distraction would be great for us all.

I made my plan indoors and didn't see that it wasn't a blue sky day. We still had a lot of fun.

Doesn't he look happy?

And look at this little champ! He walked up all those steps by himself.

I think we'll have another quiet week at home even though its the school holidays. Its probably best for me to shelve all my elaborate school holiday plans for ice skating, hiking and even Wiggle world. I'll be the good but boring mum and let them get well at home.

You Can Wait To Grow Up

2011-06-28T20:45:00.000+10:00

I don't think I ever wanted to grow up. In fact, I'm still trying not to but circumstances aren't helping.

Aaron, on the other hand, can't wait. "I can't wait to grow up so that I can do what I like." Thats what he thinks!

I have no way of knowing if its true or not but sometimes, I look at him and I think I see him thinking that his "job" is to grow. And, in order to do that, he has to listen to everything I say because my job is to make him grow. It must be because I say things like "If you don't sleep, you won't grow." or "You have to eat all your food so you can grow."

So, I've asked him when he thinks he'll be fully grown. I've done this several times and the answers change. Or maybe, he's trying to figure out when the growing will be done because one day he says "When I get a job" and another, "When I get a wife". He has even said "When I have a son".

The strange thing is that he hasn't said anything physical like "When I'm taller than you." If you look at those answers, you could just lump it all under "When I have responsibilities!" Did I spoil it for him by telling him the truth? Nah.

Growing up means that you don't get to do what you want to do. Its the opposite of what he's thinking. Alright, its not as bad as that but its pretty close. Speaking from my own experience, the only time in my life when I got to do most of the things I wanted was when I got a job. Before I got the husband and sons. Maybe people get to do the things they like again when they're 60. My parents look pretty contented although they complain that they're not only doing things for their children now but their grandchildren as well.

Isn't it ironic that Aaron can't see the beauty of the situation he's in and wants to be in my shoes instead? We've all been there and in hindsight, I think a lot of us enjoyed our carefree years. But thats in hindsight. Back then, we weren't aware enough to know what a good thing we had going. How do we tell children that? The only way is probably to just let them have an easy going childhood for as long as possible. Reminder: No more of that flip flop competitiveness for me. Its school holidays now so I'm planning on spending the whole time playing.

Capturing Joy

2011-06-26T19:51:00.011+10:00

I need need NEED to take more photos. And, they need to be good ones too. There is too much growing up happening around here and I am not capturing enough of it. Of course, I have no good excuses for this but I have some explanations.

For example, I took plenty of photos of Aaron but while I did that, I always felt that the camera was getting in the way of enjoying the moment. Oh quick, where's the camera? He's so cute. I hope he keeps doing that for 5 seconds longer. So, I end up with the photo but I didn't get to fully enjoy whatever the moment was. With Adrian, there is the added hurdle of him wanting to be photographed, but only posing for 0.5seconds and then running over to take a look at the result. I think I need some sort of spy cam to capture anything!

Recently, I attended a 30 minute talk by a photographer on capturing joy. It was the teaser to his three hour course. I'd love to attend but as usual, I'll be talking myself out of it. There are probably plenty of ideas floating around the internet on how to take better photos.

Since listening to that teaser, I have been trying to put the two points I remember into practice. The first is to go in as close as possible and the second is to have people's heads touching if possible.

So, I looked through some of our photos and did some cropping. Even looking through weeks and weeks of photos, I only came up with a handful of decent shots.

Aaron and I had a great time when this photo was taken but I couldn't crop it any more because his tongue kept throwing the balance off if I went too close.

I think this one worked much better.

I also tried making them put their heads together today.

I want to get good at this but right now, the thing that is jumping out at me is that cropping makes snotty noses more obvious!

Flip Flop Competitiveness

2011-06-22T20:47:00.008+10:00

Here's the dichotomy.

On the one hand, I really think its a sad situation when pre-schoolers need to go for tuition classes so that they can get straight 'As' in their report cards. They have their whole lives to set goals, compete and feel the pressure. They don't need to know about it when they're five years old.

On the other hand, I am secretly carrying all the goals, competitiveness and pressure around for my nearly five year old. I'm like all other mothers - my son is intelligent, he has potential, blah blah blah.

So, recently, I had my very first parent/teacher interview where they gave me a copy of his report card. It was broken down into sections for social, life, language and numeracy skills. There were wonderful comments about him in all the sections. On top of that, the language and numeracy sections were graded.

This is where the 'two hands' I mention above come in. Hand 1 - Yay! They don't actually give ABCs. Its just 'Introduced', 'Supported' and 'Mastered'. So for language, Aaron got a 'Mastered'. GREAT! But for numeracy, 'Supported'. *gasp* OK...I want those ABCs back. Where does 'Supported' put him? A-? B+? Hand 2 - Gimme back the old style grades. Do they do Bell curves in pre-school?

Yes, I was a bit crazy and went a bit overboard thinking all that but I've since calmed down. The point I want to make here is that the teacher was very encouraging and had such lovely things to say about Aaron, yet, I was so hung up on why he didn't get a 'Mastered' for numbers. (He's great with them!) I kept wanting to go back to the specifics of what he needed to master. I still can't figure it out because its the non abstract part of numbers that he needs help with which is completely confusing me because I obviously taught him all he needed to know about the abstract part. It looks like I haven't mastered non-abstract either - whatever that is.

Yes, I will be doing more number work with him. No, I have not read Amy Chua's book about Tiger Moms and have no intention of doing so. Its a competitive world. I'm a naturally competitive person. I will try to disguise my competitiveness when I ramp up my play with numbers and Aaron.

Affluenza

2011-06-18T23:10:00.008+10:00

I came across an article today about how yesterday's luxuries have become today's necessities. This article was specifically about Australian children taking things like their own bedrooms and a personal TV for granted. A couple of weeks ago, I read a very similar article about Australian households in general having a new norm of large LCD/Plasma TVs, several computers, dining out and overseas holidays. Both articles were basically talking about the same thing - Affluenza (the word was used in the article on children). The definition of it would be something like "succumbing to the inability to distinguish between what you want and what you need by buying extra of everything".

I like the sound of that word. AFFLUENZA. For example you could say "Oh, I'll have another iPad thanks. I'm down with a bad case of affluenza."

I don't think that I grew up with full blown affluenza but I definitely had everything I needed and a little more. Thankfully, I haven't developed affluenza during my adult years. Ask my friends and family and they'll tell you that one of the things I do best is talk myself out of buying anything. There isn't even a relationship between my spending habits and the amount of money I have in the bank. Its just chronic Savingitis.

Saving, re-using, hoarding and make-doing with everything. Its just how my mother taught me - not that she lived through the depression era or anything like that. Her mother did though..so, I guess I have watered down, third generation, depression era tendencies. I do have moments of frivolousness and splurging which are almost always followed by bouts of depression and more stringent budgetary measures.

Anyway, back to affluenza. I definitely don't think its great but at the same time, its not all bad if there are only one or two adults involved. Once children come into the picture, I feel that its important to create an environment that keeps their needs and wants simple. They are born with simple needs but very often, we, as parents, teach them to want more of the luxuries in life.

I have tried to do this by never buying anything (other than food) for Aaron or Adrian when they are around. Books and toys have just magically appeared over the years. This has helped to curb all "I want that toy" tantrum situation in the toy section. Those books and toys also only appear on very special occasions. As Aaron has grown older and knows more about money and its function, things are a little harder. Recently, he yelled out to a neighbor that we had to plant our own food because we didn't have enough money. Oops! I guess that came from me talking too much about how we can save heaps on grocery bills if we grew enough food. I don't want him to grow up feeling deprived but I want him to know that even if a person has money, they don't need to spend it on everything they like.

Funny Signs

2011-06-14T20:15:00.008+10:00

I get a lot of forwarded mail from my mother, father, aunts, uncles and even my friend's father. There is so much of this that whenever I see the 'Fwd.' in the subject title, I ignore, because it seems rude to delete immediately, and then delete a few weeks later. Every so often, I decide to open one up just to see what they want me to see.

There was a really funny one today so its my turn to post some funny signs.

I really can't figure out how this sign would have come about.

This sounds like something that my grandmother says in Cantonese.

Its obvious what makes the sign funny but it was the molokhia that had me Googling. Its actually something that is similar in texture to okra, but bitter when boiled.

At least this sign is very polite.

Well....you never know.

I've never seen a grenade before and I've never pulled the pin on an extinguisher either. I doubt many people have either. So, in a way, this sign would immediately give a person the mental image of how to at least get the fire extinguisher going but then its all going to go downhill when they try to throw it at the fire.

So thats what shop keepers are secretly thinking huh?

Knitting Isn't Only For Grandmothers

2011-06-12T13:25:00.008+10:00

Everybody knows that life with little children is full of surprises. I've come to expect them to say and do amusing things. That expectations sometimes cuts down a little on the effect.

Yesterday, I had a genuine surprise. I did not see it coming at all. I wanted to go to the Textile Art Festival, and I wanted to go alone. Its everything to do with fibre, yarn and fabric. Unfortunately, I had to take Aaron with me because Richard was helping with Adrian and it was nap time. I prepped myself for lots of complaints and whinging.

Aaron sort of dragged himself around, not verbally complaining but definitely showing that he was not interested. And then, he saw a lady flicking two sticks around a piece of string. She was knitting but he had never seen that before and it fascinated him. The lady was more than happy to talk to him about it and he was completely engrossed with it. After that, he went around looking out for more people knitting and started identifying pieces of knitting clothing and pointing to all the yarns that were used. He thought that the knitting needles might have been sharp because they were called "needles" so a lady let him touch hers. He wanted to know all about it.

From there, the whole exhibition seemed to open up to him and he wanted to see everything. The weaving was another intriguing exercise that he was fixated with. Co-incidentally, he had recently been asking me how material was made so this was a perfect way for me to explain. We also saw ladies spinning some wool (almost straight off a sheep) into yarn. It was amazing to watch Aaron be fascinated with all this information that he previously had no idea even existed.

I bought him these kid's knitting needles.

He wanted to get started as soon as we got home. I don't know much about knitting so, this first ball of yarn I bought was a little hard for him to learn with. We eventually changed to an easier type. His aim is to make a scarf for Hector, the dog in the background.

I went for a shower and I came out to find Aaron trying to work at his scarf but dropping all the stitches. He had to knit before bed again and the first thing he did this morning was grab his knitting needles.

He was at it again after lunch!

I'm just showing him off here with all the photos because firstly, I never expected him to be interested. Secondly, and maybe this is what I am most proud of, I never expected him to persevere with it. It is something really tricky to get the hang of.

All the ladies we met yesterday went out of their way to tell him that knitting was not only something for women. I wish they hadn't because he didn't know what type of people did it. He's so into it he wants to tell all his friends about it. I just hope that they don't laugh and tell him its for grandmothers. One lady did tell him that in the past, knitting was a man's job. Women spun the yarn and men knitted. I don't know if its true but he has taken her word for it.

So, are there any knitting men out there?

Doctors (and their receptionists) Need To Be Humbled!

2011-06-07T20:23:00.005+10:00

We have been to the doctor's four times in the past seven days. We've had appointments in the late afternoon, early afternoon and early morning. Yet, each time, we have had to wait thirty minutes or more. (Yes, its nothing like the waiting times in Asia that run past 60 minutes but .....)

I've tried to be understanding. I know that they are dealing with unpredictable, human, situations here. The doctors are usually very friendly and caring when you finally get to see them and that often diffuses my anger. But does that make it all right? No. They shouldn't be excused. Not for long waits every single time!

Our appointments last week were all after lunch and I have given them the benefit of the doubt that small delays build up to big delays by the afternoon. So, today, I managed to get the second appointment of the day - 8.45am. I was told that the first appointment was a long one and started at 8.15am. We arrived five minutes early so that we would be on time and guess what? We didn't get to see the doctor until 9.20am. I had Aaron, moaning in pain the whole time and after 9am, I asked him to moan as loud and as long as he liked.

Its ridiculous! How can they treat sick people like this? When I asked the receptionist if we really did have an 8.45am appointment she was extremely off-handed about things and gave some lame answer about how they have no idea what goes on inside. What really got me angry was that when the patient finally came out, she was obviously one of those ladies that talked non-stop because she carried on with the receptionist for a long time. It sounded like she worked at another doctor's and was trying to share all her knowledge with this practice.

Do you think a doctor apologizes for keeping a patient waiting? Nope. Why not? I don't care if their first words to each and every patient is "Sorry" since its in a way their own fault anyway. This kind of waiting time seems to be accepted as the norm. And it leads me to my next question. IF they know that all their appointment slots are too short, why not just adjust the timing?

Yes, productivity is important but c'mon doctors! You all make way above the national average anyway.

Guess whats worse than the waiting? The self loathing that I feel when I have to debate with myself about whether or not I should say something about the long waits? Why do I need to feel that they might take offence and not be as caring towards us? Many people treat doctors like gods. I certainly don't but at the same time, I worry about treating them like ordinary humans in case they act like ordinary humans and take out their anger on my sick child! UGH!

Is there such a job as a 'Waiting Time Minimization Engineer'? I'll want that job. Give me the challenge of cutting those waiting times. I am sure there is a way to schedule more efficiently.

Ah...there is nothing like a good rant. I haven't done that here in awhile.

A Different Sort Of Weekend

2011-06-05T20:45:00.003+10:00

We stayed home the entire time.

It was relatively quiet.

And, Richard did most of the cooking.

It actually sounds like the weekends that Richard and I used to have when we were first married. Unfortunately, it wasn't anything as blissful as that.

Aaron caught some mysterious virus that initially made the tip of his tongue swell and then later, ulcers all over. His tonsils were so inflamed that they nearly touched each other. The doctor's first thought thought was hand foot and mouth disease but he didn't have anything on his hands or feet and, he's already had that before, so she ruled it out. She had never seen a tongue like that before. GREAT! She recommended antibiotics and Panadol.

The little guy was in unbelievable pain and nothing helped him. At one stage, nothing, not even ice cream or TV, could convince him to leave his bed. He didn't even read when he was there. He just curled up and stared at the walls. The only words he said were "Ow...My tongue". Even in his sleep, he'd suddenly say that. Thats why I mentioned that it was relatively quiet.

The only thing I could do was offer him all of my attention and lots of cuddles. Thats why Richard did most of the cooking. He was also in charge of Adrian all weekend.

Aaron started talking again this afternoon so something must be getting better. If I were to find a positive in all this, it would be that this wasn't a serious illness and that we got to spend some uninterrupted time together. He hasn't had many opportunities to have my undivided attention since Adrian came along. I could see that he really appreciated it.

Now, lets hope that Adrian doesn't get the same thing otherwise Aaron will be going from 100% to 0% in no time at all.

Trainee Gardeners

2011-06-02T19:56:00.000+10:00

We've been spending a lot of time in the garden this week. The weather has been getting colder and during the day time, our house always feels like its a few degrees colder than the outside. We have one experienced trainee gardener and one new one this year. They've been working hard on the weeds and sweeping up after Richard mowed the lawn.

Our garden is also starting to feel as if its going to be bare soon. The colder weather has ended the okra's season and some of the other leafy plants are starting to look a bit crinkly. Some over enthusiastic fertilizing has killed off our eggplant and a couple of the tomato plants. The kale was eaten up by caterpillars some time ago. Thankfully, all the gingers and lemon grass are still good and there is still plenty sweet potato leaves, chilli, bazillion spinach and sweet leaf. We're waiting on the papaya and tahitian lime trees to give us some fruit.

With my parents away, I'm now head gardener. So, the first assistant and I went out and got some seeds for broad beans and kale and some carrot and spinach seedlings. I also bought an organic garlic to plant. Although on hindsight that one doesn't really seem worth it. It takes 6 months for the garlic to form from each clove and we only got 4 cloves out of that garlic I bought. We go through garlic like crazy in this house.

In any case, everything in the ground now and hopefully, if the turkeys don't go digging them up, we'll have some new vegetables to eat in August.

I'll Be Safe With My Mini Flash Alarm

2011-05-31T19:34:00.006+10:00

Living in an English speaking country has really cut down on the number of funny typos or strangely phrased signs about the place. I miss those!

But look what I found today. No, I did not buy it, just for the packaging. A thoughtful older friend gave it to me some time ago and I kept it safely somewhere, without reading the fine (and not-so-fine) print. I dug it out today it really does sound like a super all-in-one, save-me-from anything-and-everything device. The device itself looks very similar to a yo-yo.

It didn't just have a single funny word or sentence. It has typos, funny phrases and funny ideas. Everything on the front and back of the packaging was chuckle worthy. Click on the images to make them big.

The pictures at the bottom of the second image caught my attention before the words and I did spend a serious moment or two trying to decipher them. Then, I realized that the words provided plenty of clues. The praying hands one still has me stumped though...

Holy Monster

2011-05-29T19:57:00.004+10:00

Each Sunday, Aaron attends the children's liturgy for the first part of Mass. All the kids go to a separate room and supposedly have things explained in ways that they can better understand. They join the rest of the congregation during the Eucharistic Prayer. If the parish priest is on duty, he invites all the children to stand with him at the alter and tries to make things more interesting for them. Occasionally, he'll take a quick look at the worksheet that each child has with them.

Let me just give you a bit of background here - each week, Aaron has come back and proudly handed me a drawing of some dinosaur or other, on the back side of the worksheet. Some of their 'work' is also stuck up on the walls of the room where they have the children session and I see Aaron's dinosaurs there as well. This morning, I said that he had to earn his TV watching points and one of the ways was to complete the worksheet.

So, back to today. The priest welcomed the children up to the alter and he picked a worksheet to take a look at and hold up to the congregation.

He said "Ah...The holy spirit...with many arms..." He actually seemed a bit lost for words. Or maybe he was trying to decipher the writing in tongues. I was at the back of the church and couldn't read the name but I thought the style of that piece of artwork looked a familiar - I thought that another 4 year old boy/girl draws the same way Aaron does. It didn't occur to me that he had actually drawn something other than a dinosaur.

I had a confused sort of good laugh when I finally got a closer look at Aaron's worksheet. Anybody want to guess what he wrote?

Thank Goodness For Muscle Memory

2011-05-25T19:55:00.004+10:00

Fifteen years ago, I got my A.Mus.A - my Associate diploma in Music, Australia. It was a BIG deal to me and recently, I was reminded that an A.Mus.A is still a big deal. (Yay, I do have something worthwhile under my belt). Unfortunately, I don't feel at all like a musician. In fact, I get worried about admitting that I play the piano in case I'm asked to play something. EEK!

Its a horrible feeling. This used to be something I was good at. Playing sonatas by memory was an every day thing! Its easy to mentally categorize this as yet another part of my past (y'know, like work and anything engineering or marketing related). But, why be so lazy? This is something that I can work on from home, at a time that suits me.

So, I've started making time in my day for some piano practice. The aim is for short bursts of practice, focusing on short sections of whatever piece I have chosen. Small chunks - I'm no longer the student that had to put in the 2 hours every day.

The most surprising thing I have noticed is that even though some of my hand and finger muscles seem to have shrunk, muscle memory seems to have stuck around. I can't play any of the old pieces from memory but the strange thing is that I can still play them if I have the notes in front of me. I'm not exactly reading the notes because I tried sight reading new pieces of similar levels and I can't read fast enough. Through some of the faster passages, my fingers play automatically and as soon as I try to read the notes, things fall apart. I'm using my old books so they have all the familiar markings and notes that my teacher had put all over the place. My hands seem to know exactly when to reach and turn the page and I even stumble at the areas that I used to worry about fifteen years ago!

I am grateful for muscle memory because I don't think I would be able to persevere through learning these pieces note by note again. At least I can have some satisfaction from fudging my way through a piece, knowing its far from perfect but still getting to the end.

I'm very interested to know how long muscle memory lasts. Its been around these past 15 years so will it still be around when I'm 60 or 70? Some articles simplify it to be like how children learn to walk - well, most of us remember how to walk right up to the end!

So, just in case muscle memory fades, I'm going to hopefully, practice enough from now on to give it the boost it needs to last until I'm in a nursing home and need to entertain myself.

Failed Sunday

2011-05-22T21:01:00.003+10:00

We usually have good Sundays but today, things just didn't go right. In fact, things started to go wrong at about 12.30am. Thats when Adrian woke up and instead of going straight back to sleep after a short cuddle, he decided to stay up. This isn't an unusual occurrence in our house but the rest of Sunday seemed to be just as unsatisfying.

We planned to go to the Currumbin Wildlife Sanctuary because they're having a special entry price of only $5 for all Sundays in May. The normal price for adults is around $30 so it was a good deal. About a zillion other people thought so too. Finding a carpark was crazy and took forever. This was on top of the fact that Adrian screamed for half of the 90min journey there.

So, we're there, we're parked and the slight drizzle that was around had cleared up. The muddy ground wasn't all that bad. Unfortunately, the million people I mentioned earlier....well, they were all inside too. $5 sounds like a great deal but surely the animals no longer thought of that place as a Sanctuary.

Aaron wanted to watch the reptile show so we squashed in with about 50,000 of the other people. It was crazy! They had people sitting in the aisle ways and on the steps. What if there was an emergency? I was not having a good time.

Then, it started drizzling again. No problem, lets just make a beeline for the crocodile, walk through the Kangaroo area and then go home. I think there were about 20 humans for every kangaroo in the enclosure. No wonder there were so many of them trying to hop away.

The light rain then got heavier. We stopped to go to the bathrooms before the long ride home and when we got out, it was pouring! The exit from the park was through their gift show, their very medium sized gift shop. Oh my...people, umbrellas, wet ponchos, huge prams, screaming babies, kids...

*sigh* And that was my day. The main reason for going was the lorikeet feeding that I wanted to show the boys and guess what?! It was raining too hard. I remember saying to Aaron in the morning that I was feeling a bit tired and that maybe we wouldn't go today. I should have listened to myself!

Parentopoly

2011-05-19T22:44:00.001+10:00

I went to a parent's session at Aaron's school yesterday called Parentopoly. They run these sessions several times each term to give parents the opportunity to have discussions on how to best deal with various parenting aspects and to perhaps open our minds to how other people might approach common situations. The principal usually conducts them and while there are of course no right, or wrong answers, he provides some guidance on what a Montessori approach to the various situations would be.

Parentopoly is a game that the principal invented where we put out some numbered cards on the floor in a random path around the room, roll a couple of dice and each person moves themselves along as a token. We had to turn over the number card where we landed, read out the situation and then say how we would respond to each of those situations.

The rule was that we couldn't PRAISE, THREATEN, BRIBE, REWARD, or PUNISH.

From memory, here are some of the scenarios that came up.

...Your child does the dishes without being asked.
...Your child bites another child.
...Your child is not invited to a birthday party.
...Your child brings a drawing to you and asks if its beautiful.
...Your child draws a picture of some very lifelike animals.

I got the biting one and I am thankful for that. All it needed was an explanation. The other ones, especially the ones that we might automatically shower praise for, were quite tricky when the discussions started going.

For example, saying 'WOW' to the lifelike animal drawings was ultimately deemed not the best response. Neither was saying it was 'good' or that you were proud of the child or that you were impressed. My automatic responses were all triggered by the theories of timely recognition and positive reinforcements. What do I do if I'm not supposed to do that? Why don't we do that?

I could see that some of the newer parents were also confused but the parents with older children (and who also had been with the Montessori environment for some time) gave the impression that all this was natural and that it works out best and that they ALL implemented it on a daily basis.

By the time I left, I was confused, intrigued, and maybe feeling a little guilty. I gathered that the rationale is that you don't want to rob the child of the satisfaction by deciding for them that something is fantastic. You don't want to teach them to need approval. They should be self reliant and also derive their own sense of approval for a job well done. (Several week's ago, there was actually a program on TV on how all the praises heaped on children, whether deserving or not, was contributing to a generation of narcissists.)

I liked what I was hearing but I was barely understanding it and I absolutely couldn't see myself not using praise in those praiseworthy situations. What do I say? So I went online when I got home and it was very interesting reading. I found this article on the 5 Reasons To Stop Saying 'Good Job'. There was also another link that offered some insight as to how else a parent can deal with such situations. The simplest one being "You did it!"

There are merits to the Montessori philosophy and I do agree with many of their points but I still believe that there can be some place for praise in a child's (or an adult's) day. I don't believe in pouring it on all the time but surely it is possible to keep in mind all the points about nurturing a child's own self satisfaction while giving them realistic pats on the back every once in a while. I'll definitely be more careful with my choice of words and not use anything too over-the-top like "you're the best artist I know of".

How would you handle some of these situations?

p.s. There was mention of grandparents at the Parentopoly session and supposedly they are allowed to say whatever they like because children know that different rules apply to them.

Whizzpoppers!

2011-05-17T22:31:00.002+10:00

Hands up who knows what Whizzpoppers are?

Anyone?

Well, its the result of the downward bubbles that are created when giants drink Frobscottle. Thats the Coke equivalent with the one big difference of having the bubbles fizz downwards instead of up. So, the effect of those downward bubbles is er....not a burp.

Aaron and I have been reading The BFG by Roald Dahl these past few nights and this word has stuck. We were on the way to mass and he proudly proclaims "Whizzpopper!" In the middle of playing and again, he yells out "Whizzpopper!"

Now, is that alright? I don't know. We had a big laugh when we were reading about it and I did say that it could almost be like a secret word that we could use and not many peoploe would know what we were talking about (until I blog about it).

Whizzpoppers are such a source of laughter in this house. Even Adrian finds it funny. All kids do! So, should they really be a source of embarrassment to parents when they're out and about? I didn't know whether to laugh or pretend not to notice when Adrian one day did a downward dog (the yoga pose) and then made a whizzpopper noise. No prizes for guessing who taught him that!

Just like everything else in life's balancing act, we all have to learn to balance what we genuinely find funny in the home and what we can only secretly find funny when we're out. The problem is that people like Adrian don't know that difference and let all our secrets out to the outside world!

My final thoughts on this is that I don't think its entirely right of me to tell them its wrong to laugh at something that :

1) they 'discovered' to be funny by themselves.
2) makes them laugh spontaneously (and also makes me laugh to see the fun on their faces).
3) is really a natural phenomena that average humans encounter about 14 times a day.

Right...now all I have to figure out is how to explain 'home jokes' and 'outside jokes'.

Free Music at Gregory Park

2011-05-15T22:24:00.008+10:00

No matter what impact the latest Federal Budget has on spending (or spending cuts), I hope the Brisbane City Council will still have these free bands in the parks on Sunday afternoons. Its fantastic to spend a lazy one hour, sitting on the grass, enjoying some music.

There was a kid's theme to this afternoon's performance with the band playing many TV show tunes, including the Thomas the Tank Engine. That was a huge hit with the crowds - parents and children alike!

The afternoon wasn't entirely lazy, although it was easy work to play with Aaron and Adrian.

You can see the band in the background of this photo. I thought the boys might have needed some incentive to stay in the once place for a little while.

They last for about half the duration and then we decided that we could listen to the music while playing around.

I don't think I have anything to worry about in terms of Adrian being too cautious (the way the Aaron is). The second after this photo was taken, he was struggling to get free from me and walk that plank alone!

Here he is again, trying his best to keep up with Aaron.

Thankfully, Aaron is still very enthusiastic about 'taking care' of Adrian.

And thats the end of another weekend...

Replica of HMB Endeavour

2011-05-10T20:06:00.006+10:00

As mentioned in my last post, the HMB Endeavour was in town and we took Aaron. We actually went with Aaron's friend, Toby, and his father. Aaron and Toby are of course, dinosaur crazy. But, on the sidelines, they also want to be pirates. So, what we got on Sunday were two pirate dinosaur boys going crazy.

I don't know what causes it because I believe that both of these boys are quite well behaved individually. Its a whole different story when they get together. The energy level, craziness, 'rude' word competitions (y'know, things like wee and poo), EVERYTHING, is multiplied ten times. They run everywhere, roar at each other, switch from dinosaur characters over to pirate characters without stopping by at being boys. Its a little unfair to say that they misbehaved or were being naughty but that kind of excitement level was really tiring for us parents to keep reigned in. Ironically, the only time that these two get together (apart from the occasional outing like this) is during Sunday mass and for a short time afterwards.

Anyhow, I didn't get to go on the ship but I thought I'd still share some of the photos they shared with me. I do wish I could have gone on as well.

I always thought these types of ships were all 'HMS' but now I know that in the 18th Century, ships were classified according to the shape of their hull. So, the 'B' here is for Bark - a ship with a flat bow and square stern. This isn't the REAL HMB Endeavour that Captain Cook used on his discovery voyage to Terra Australia of course, just a very good replica.

I guessed that it would have been low below deck but I never knew that at some parts, Aaron was the only one that could stay standing upright. And look at this photo with the little door.

Now, one of the interesting little tidbits that they relayed to me was that the toilet was right at the front of the ship. St the pointy part of the bow was a platform with a hole in it, of course. There is more to the trivia but I don't think I'd like to share that on my blog.

What I Owe My Mother

2011-05-08T19:57:00.001+10:00

Happy Mother's Day to all mothers. I had the usual sort of Sunday, filled with outdoor time with the family. We took Aaron to see the HMB Endeavor but they didn't allow anyone shorter than 90cm on board so I had to stay on land with Adrian. I'll put some pictures up in my next post. For today, lets have something about 'Mothers'.

I got this in an email that my father forwarded to both my mother and me. Now, is he trying to give me a lesson on all the lessons I can give my children. OR, is he just reminding me of the strife that I might have caused my mother and that I am getting payback for now.

1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE
"If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning."

2. My mother taught me RELIGION
"You better pray that this will come out of the carpet."

3. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL
"If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!"

4. My mother taught me LOGIC .
"Because I said so, that's why."

5.My mother taught me MORE LOGIC
"If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the store with me."

6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT
"Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident."

7. My mother taught me IRONY
"Keep crying, and I'll give you something to cry about."

8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS.
"Shut your mouth and eat your supper."

9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM
"Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!"

10. My mother taught me about STAMINA
"You'll sit there until all that SOUP is gone."

11. My mother taught me about WEATHER
"This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it."

12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY
"If I told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!"

13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE
"I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."

14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOUR MODIFICATION
"Stop acting like your father!"

15. My mother taught me about ENVY
"There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you do."

16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION
"Just wait until we get home."

17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING
"You are going to get it when you get home!"

18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE.
"If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to get stuck that way."

19. My mother taught me ESP
"Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?"

20. My mother taught me HUMOUR
"When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me."

21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT
"If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."

22. My mother taught me GENETICS
"You're just like your father."

23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS
"Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a tent?"

24. My mother taught me WISDOM.
"When you get to be my age, you'll understand."

25. And my favourite:
My mother taught me about JUSTICE
"One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you"

Home Made Dragon

2011-05-07T08:32:00.004+10:00

Its Saturday morning and I'm feeling very lazy. Wouldn't it be great to have a lazy day at home doing nothing? Unfortunately, there wouldn't be much chance of 'doing nothing' in this house so instead, I've negotiated for a few minutes to myself now and then we're going to head off for our usual couple of hours at the state library.

We go there for the sing-a-longs as well as the low craft tables and ample amounts of kid friendly craft supplies they have laid out. This term, they have have the area setup as a kitchen table with a giant walk-in saucepan, kitchen table and chef dress-up area.

Here is Aaron's and my creation from out more recent trip. I wonder what we'll make today.

Music In Our House

2011-05-05T08:17:00.000+10:00

One of the most common things that mothers of young children will say is that they're singing Nursery Rhymes all the time. They no longer know what the latest releases are but they know all the variations of "The Wheels On The Bus".

I'm like that too but I also try to share the music that I loved as a child, with Aaron and Adrian. When I was around Aaron's age, four and a half, all the music came from a records that my parents had. The record player was an extremely precious possession so we weren't allowed near it but my parents were more than happy to oblige us with whichever record we wanted to listen to.

Amongst the many records, I remember three favorites: 1) A Harry Belafonte album (but we only wanted to listen to the Banana Boat Song), 2) A Boney M Album (entire thing) and finally, 3) A children's one that had "She'll Be Coming 'Round The Mountain" as the first song. My mother must have been trying to share her old favorites with us because we know all the Elvis songs too.

With Aaron, I made a lot of CDs of all my favorite songs, including those from my childhood. So, he's very familiar with the Banana Boat Song, Elvis was an early favorite of his and he was singing "If You Want To Be Happy (For The Rest Of Your Life)" when he was two and a half. He was like a little old men and a source of great entertainment for all his grand aunts and uncles when it came to singing them a song.

I haven't been able to do the same for Adrian because Aaron has been monopolizing the CD Player and we listen to Jurassic Joe and his dinosaur songs most of the time. So, Adrian is good at those. Or so I thought.....

"Tik Tok" by Ke$ha came on the radio and all of a sudden, both Aaron and Adrian are bopping to it. Aaron can sing along! I don't even really know it. So, I eventually find out that not only do they know KeSha, they know Usher! Specifically, "DJ Got Us Falling In Love Again". Just imagine a baby voice, with baby pronunciation singing "Eyes eyes eyes..."

Guess what Richard has been doing whenever it was his turn to watch them??

I don't have a problem with it although, now that I think of it, I haven't exactly listened or examined the lyrics yet. Who knows what they could be singing about! Kids don't go into details anyway, they just look cute singing.

Meanwhile, I've been going through a Muppets phase - something I missed during my own childhood. Those guys were cool! And look, here they are with Harry Belafonte:

I want to balance their exposure to music to include more classical pieces, and I have tried (even with Adrian), but they just don't take to it as willingly or as rapidly. *sigh* Well, I suppose I can't have them liking everything that I like....

Urban Country Music Festival

2011-05-02T18:55:00.012+10:00

We had such a big day out yesterday that I went to bed shortly after tucking Aaron in! Ten years ago, or even five years ago, I wouldn't have thought that I would go, very much out of my way, to an Urban Country Music Festival like this. It was all because of clogging that we went and we all had a great time.

All my regular readers know that I enjoy clogging. So yesterday, I tried to get Richard interested too. We set off on the one hour drive to Caboolture at 8am so that he could participate in the Introductory Clogging class. He did alright for a first timer and seemed to enjoy it but I didn't get the feeling that he's going to be as enthusiastic about it as I am. I did my clogging in the afternoon at the Social.

The clogging was only a small part of this huge festival. I honestly didn't expect it to be such a big deal but it was. Its not just for country music lovers, the festival had many live bands dotted throughout the areas playing both country and 'urban' music. We didn't have time to explore all the grounds and stayed only at the historical village.

I think there is usually an entry fee for the historical village but on festival days, it was free entry (the festival was free too!). The place was fascinating with an assortment of historical buildings from various parts of Caboolture that were brought too this site, positioned as a village would have been and then setup inside as they would have been in the old days.

Here are a few of the photos:

I do have one suggestion for the organizers - Give those rubbish bins a bit more of a historical look or disguise them better. They're ruining my photos :)

Aaron had a great day too. His friend from the state library was performing at the Children's area. Here they both are trying to get some 'customers'.

This bushranger had Aaron very worried. He was cracking his whip and firing his pistol and then he told Aaron he was going to rob the pub. And Aaron believed it all.

It was so much fun that I'm already looking forward to next year. There was so much more of the festival that we didn't get too!

Its Official!

2011-04-29T14:38:00.004+10:00

Today, I'm officially in my mid-thirties. When I was around twenty, I thought the ideal age to be was somewhere in my mid-thirties. There would be no exams, no boyfriend problems, life would be in order. Well, I'm finally there. Or should I say, here.

I know forty is just around the corner and I'm pretty sure that I'll not be as happy when that birthday creeps up but today is all good. I am happy with the life I have and I think the only regret I have so far is that I didn't start doing the whole baby thing when I was twenty eight.

The whole disparity between chronological age and how old I actually feel is really starting to be apparent. In my mind, I think I still see myself as twenty eight. Hopefully it doesn't mean that I have somehow been stagnant for the past seven years.

So of course, this is a very significant day for some other people in the world. In fact, I'm very distracted as I type this - the fairytale wedding is on TV. With all the hype around the Royal Wedding, I couldn't help thinking of the vast difference between what Kate Middleton and I would be thinking on the night of the 28th April.

For her, its probably along the lines of "Woohoo! Me! Princess!"

For me, "ME! Mid-Thirties!!!!".

Anyway, I need to go plonk myself down in front of the TV. I haven't paid much attention to this wedding previously but the coverage is doing a good job at sucking me into the whole fairytale mood. Real life princes and princesses......

My Two Boys

2011-04-27T20:06:00.009+10:00

I'm counting my blessings. They do have little fights each day but most of the time, things are friendly between them.

Here they are, at their favorite spot. They like sitting here for snacks or just to watch the lizards and turkeys walk past.

All I wanted was a good photo of the both of them sitting together. Instead, I got this heartwarming sequence.

Hmmm....maybe Adrian was just after that piece of cheese toast...

Easter - New Beginnings

2011-04-24T20:26:00.004+10:00

In the past, I've always dreaded going to mass during the Easter weekend. They're always extra long and I always wonder what I get out of it since I spend most of the time trying to keep little ones from misbehaving.

We have belonged to this Jesuit parish for the past 20 years and I have to say that when we first arrived (in 1988) and started going here, they were snobby, condescending, stuffy and dusty. Slow and sustained organ music, high pitched old lady voices singing and narcissistic priests. It was so horrible that we eventually drove further away to attend mass at a different parish.

Since my return to Brisbane, we've been going to our 'home' parish again. It was unexpected but they have changed. And this year's Easter masses were surprisingly meaningful for us.

On Good Friday, Aaron and I sat in the front of the church so he could get a better view. This year, they had a group of men drag a heavy wooden cross down the center aisle. Later on in the mass, that same cross was passed through the congregation, over our heads. Each person passed it on and was only in contact with it for several seconds but its weight was immediately apparent. This particular mass was not monotonous in the first place but that bit of hands on participation added to the realism of the points that are repeated at each Good Friday mass - pain, suffering, desperation etc. I expected a long homily but instead, the priest spoke very briefly about the part of the Passion of Christ which was most meaningful to him and then asked the congregation to share their views.

That wasn't the only time the priest asked for congregation participation either. It happened again today at the Easter Mass. You'd think that the priest was some young fellow fresh out of the seminary with radical new ideas, but he isn't. He's over 80 years old! This is the priest that also invites all the children up to the alter with him during the Eucharistic Prayers.

Amongst many other things, Easter is about new beginnings. And, this Easter must have worked some sort of magic on me because I'm feeling a sort of motivation to teach Aaron and Adrian about the religion. And I feel supported by the parish that they can grow up with this religion without it having to be snobby, condescending, stuffy and dusty.

Happy Easter everyone!

Weird Websites

2011-04-21T20:51:00.002+10:00

I finally got the chance to sit down with Saturday's paper today. Yes, each Saturday, I buy it and hope that I will somehow get through the whole newspaper before the next Saturday arrives. Anyway, in amongst horrible news about nail bombs and confusing news about the carbon tax, I came across a readers poll of the 20 Weirdest Websites. Ironically, I buy the real newspaper so that I don't only read the short online versions of the news but the snippet about the weird websites provided a link for me to get the full details online.

It was a little disappointing to find that some of the links didn't work but of those that worked, there were several amusing ones. Here are my favorite:

The Gallery Of "Misused" Quotation Marks
This one was my favorite. I'm no expert at the English language but I'm always on the look out for incorrect uses of words or typos. (By the way, I missed the photo op in Sydney but we were at a restaurant and they had a seafood dish, 'Fillet of God', on their menu).

At One Million Giraffes one person bet another person that they could collect pictures of one million giraffes. Initially, I didn't think very much of this site but upon closer inspection, there are many interesting giraffe photos here. I think I'd describe this site as amusing rather than weird.

I found this to be the funniest - I Hate Tom Cruise. You have to go visit here and read through all the entries.

Anyway, for the full listing, click here. Some of the sites are just bizarre and useless (like this one) and others are a little sick. You be the judge.

The Unexpected Difference Between Baby #1 and Baby #2

2011-04-19T09:44:00.011+10:00

Baby #1 gets all new things, 100% attention and documentation of all achievements across a variety of mediums.

So with Aaron, I have plenty of photos, blog posts, monthly letters (although they were lost when the hard disk crashed) and even hand written accounts of what he was up to. I had a list of all the new words he understood and said. I thought about everything he did and everything he didn't do. I worried about whether he was keeping up with his peers. Needless to say, he was the only one around and I dedicated all my time and thoughts to him.

Then comes Baby #2 - hand me downs, 50% attention and the occasional mention of a major milestone here and there.

I think a lot of friends and family will agree with me when I say that I have not been as diligent in documenting Adrian's progress through babyhood as I was with Aaron. I have no excuses and from this day forward, I am going to work harder.

So, the above is sort of old news. Everybody knows that and in many ways, expects it. But you know what the strange thing is? The unexpected difference between Baby #1 and #2 is that with #2, I am living in the moment so much more. I did not anticipate this.

For example, I find that trying to get that perfect photo of a baby doing something cute takes away from actually enjoying the moment. So, very often, I just sit, watch and count my blessings. The live images are beautiful but I know they'll probably fade. I think the emotions from these moments are probably etched a little deeper into my memory. Now all I need is to some how have the visual memory as well. 24 surveillance cameras on us??

Even when I play with or read to Adrian, I'm a lot more immersed in the shared experience than I was with Aaron. I'm somehow enjoying it more without being stressed out by everything else a first child is throwing at me. I'm not thinking about what else I need to do or what I should be doing. Yet, its more than just being a more relaxed mom the second time around. Its also hanging on to these innocent times.

I've been through it once so I know whats to come - it ends! The wonder and amazement he shows at everything now. The way he proudly lets me know that he can identify the cows and trucks. His cute mis-pronunciation of words. I'm going to miss it all one day. Or worse, I'm going to forget how cute it all was and not even miss it!

Does this mean that I dote on him and spoil him more? Not really. I think I've been fair. And sometimes, I find I have even more patience to teach him (whether its to take turns or put his toys away or whatever) than I did with Aaron.

Finally, before I sign off today, here are a few photos of Adrian (to be fair)...

I've Made My First Shirt

2011-04-17T19:59:00.010+10:00

Its time for me to be a bit of a show off :D.

This is the first time I've made a proper shirt with collars, buttons and sleeves! I'm definitely proud of it and he's going to be wearing it every week from now on.

The fabric was bought way back in October 2009 and was intended for his then, 3 years 2 months size. He's now 4 years and 8 months and I can say that there were only the tiniest little pieces of scrap material left after I was done.

I didn't have a pattern for the shirt but instead, used a shirt from when he was 2 years old. I traced out the various pieces, put them on a photocopier and enlarged. Strangely, it worked for every part except the sleeves. Making this shirt was relatively simple but with all the interruptions through my days and nights, and of course the need to laze around watching TV, it took me nearly a month to complete!

Sewing gives me a real sense of accomplishment but it is so time consuming because I'm such a beginner at it. I guess the only way is to get more practice in.

Fun in Sydney

2011-04-15T16:51:00.013+10:00

Hey! Where did my two weeks go? I wish I could say that we were in Sydney the whole time but we actually got back on Sunday. The time in Brisbane seems to have been swallowed up by children with fevers!

The main reason we were in Sydney was to visit my brother and his wife. They both had to work so we used the mornings and afternoons to do all the touristy things. Here are some of the photos from our trip.

I never imagined that my first meal in Sydney would be a huge plate of Nasi Goreng Spesial (Special Fried Rice). We were in a food court in Chinatown that had too many things to pick from. The Indonesian stall caught my eye and I jumped for my old favorite. It was oiliness of it definitely reminded me of the fried rice we used to get in Palembang - TASTY STUFF!

The Sydney Tower

Up in the tower, Aaron couldn't see anything through the correct end of the binoculars and insisted that this bigger end was the way to go.

It wasn't our first trip to Sydney and is obvious as I look through the photos - No good ones of the iconic Sydney Harbour Bridge or the Opera House!

It was the Queen Victoria Building that provided us with a couple of good laughs. Here is a photo of the men's bathrooms:

And the ladies bathroom with the biggest bathroom mirror I've ever seen!

It is a beautiful building that was completely in 1898. As we were walking around, admiring it, we noticed something interesting on this clock.

Here's a close up. It didn't come out clearly in the photo but printed on the clock is 'Ipoh Limited, Sydney'. Wikipedia says that the QVB was restored from 1984-1986 by Ipoh Limited at a cost of $86Million.

The few days in Sydney went past too quickly. I do wish that we had more time there but I'm definitely glad that we live here in Brisbane instead. It may be smaller but its also much cleaner and more organised.

Birthday Party Paranoia

2011-04-03T20:31:00.003+10:00

So far, I've organised three birthday parties for my children. We invited quite a few people to the ones in Palembang but I would still classify them as simple, traditional, kids birthday parties. I didn't spend an exorbitant amount of money on them and we played games like pass the parcel, pin the tail on the donkey and musical chairs - games I remember from my early birthdays. The party we had for Adrian last year was also a simple one with home cooked food and a few family friends.

Since Aaron started making new friends this year, I have been getting a little paranoid about birthday parties. Both the possibility of him being invited to one and also the expectation that he might develop to have one when his birthday comes round. My irrational fear was spawned from reading several articles about how elaborate kids birthday parties have become - themes, invited entertainers, rented playground equipment etc etc etc. I know not all are like this but it still made me partially hope that Aaron wouldn't get invited to any - yes, mean and selfish of me. What if he did get invited to some super duper, fancy schmancy, party and then expect that all parties, including his own, are that way?

Well, the day has come - he received an invite last week. I guess its good in a way so that I'll know what the reality is like instead of letting my imagination carry me away.

The invitation has opened up a new challenge for me though. I told Aaron that when you go to somebody's birthday party, you have to bring a gift. He said "Of course I know that! Maybe I can buy him a little car."

The background to the little car is this : Several months ago, Aaron used some of his own money, $2, to buy a little plastic police car. The money he has is from coins that he sometimes finds around the house. I haven't started the whole pocket money thing yet.

Anyway, the point is that he very honestly and generously intends to use his own money to buy something that he, as a four year old, can afford. He didn't even have any expectation that I would buy a present for his friend.

I like that. And I haven't said anything to him about it yet.

The problem is, I'm not sure how much his friend or his friends parents are going to like it when they unwrap a $2 plastic car present.

If only all the other kids would do the same thing. Just take a look at this list of lessons that can be taught from it :

1) Children learn the value of money.
2) Children learn to save.
3) Children may learn to give a hand made gift instead of a store bought one.
4) Children learn the joy of giving - I don't think it has the same effect if mom bought the present.
4) Birthday child stays grounded because the gifts are probably going to be simpler.
5) Birthday child may learn that the fun of the birthday party is more in the shared time with friends.

I'm going to go ahead and let Aaron buy a gift with his own money but I definitely feel the (peer parent) pressure to top it up with a second gift just so we don't look cheap. But really, why do I need to? The party is a month away and if I come up with something that will be appreciated that can also be made by Aaron (and me), I might go with that.

*sigh* Mountain out of a mole hill here!

p.s. My next post will probably not be until next week sometime. We're all going to Sydney for the week. Holiday!!

April Fool's Failure

2011-04-01T19:35:00.003+10:00

I forgot what today was and didn't play any tricks on anyone. Must be a sign that I'm getting older. I've always played at least one lame trick on a family member each year. So, I don't have anything to report from today but I thought I'd share the least 'successful' trick that I've been a part of in the past.

This least successful attempt at a good time was actually one of the most elaborate ones that I remember being a part of. It involved nearly 60 people!

Back in high school, senior physics, chemistry and biology shared two science labs that faced each other. Occasionally, two classes will be scheduled at the same time. One April Fool's day, we had the bright idea for the students in the two classes to swap over. So, we did. And to add more to the trick, we all put our heads down on the bench tops and closed our eyes.

I got swapped over to Mr Cornish's classroom. In my memory, he was a huge giant with red hair and a red beard. I'm not sure if he was really all that big but he definitely had red hair. Anyway, he could not take a joke.

He dropped a big pile of books onto the front bench. BANG! It was LOUD. I'm sure those girls would have gotten a little deaf from it. Then, he went on and on about how we were wasting time. By this time, nobody was laughing and we were all waiting for him to realize that we weren't even his students. Boy did he explode when he realized that!

Till this day, I can't understand why he made such a big fuss. Why was he such a spoilsport? Couldn't he have just laughed and had a good time with all of us? The other teacher wasn't impressed either but definitely wasn't angry about the whole thing.

Sometimes You Just Have To Laugh

2011-03-30T21:56:00.004+10:00

Aaron and Adrian really crack me up sometimes. And very often, its when they've done something naughty that I need to laugh, but can't.

Aaron was in the bathroom today when Adrian went in to see what was going on. After awhile, I heard some brotherly giggling and things seemed fun but relatively calm for awhile. I was right outside where they couldn't see me and I felt very contented listening to them.

Slowly, the giggling built up to laughing and then I heard Aaron cackling hysterically. Time for me to go check on them - I wish I had a photo of what I saw.

Both of them were standing around the toilet. Adrian had both hands on the toilet seat and was peering in. Aaron, minus his shorts, had a toilet brush in one hand and a new roll of toilet paper in the other. He said that Adrian had tried to throw the toilet paper into the toilet and he rescued it. By this time, Adrian was trying to put his hands down the toilet again and I went to move him out of the bathroom.

When I go back into the bathroom, I see Aaron reach for the flush again. The entire toilet roll is now down the toilet again. Aaron has been stabbing at it with the toilet brush and its starting to fall to bits but not broken up enough to actually get flushed.

I'm sure all this happened in two minutes and I couldn't help laughing about it. Whats the point in getting angry and carrying on about it in a serious way? Maybe Aaron should have known better or maybe, he really didn't. I still explained everything and managed to get him to stick his hand down the toilet to scoop out the toilet roll mush. Everything was good in the end, nobody was crying or sulking and we all had a good laugh.

I'm Surrounded By Germs AGAIN

2011-03-28T07:04:00.005+10:00

This is the last week of Aaron's school term and we're having a round of colds going through the house. I hope its true that all this exposure is building his immunity! One parent mentioned a scary fact that at Aaron's age, the average was a cold every six weeks. That sounded terrible until I realized that Aaron just had two in the past six weeks.

Each time Aaron gets a cold, Adrian is guaranteed of one. And then I live in fear that I'll be next. My favourite line of defence at the moment is echinacea but we need to do more. Maybe some new games on washing hands and not touching our faces is needed. We need to do something!

I just can't believe that we're dealing with colds again today. Its becoming a constant in this house. I don't remember having this many colds when I was growing up. A doctor last year mentioned that Aaron had extremely inflamed tonsils that wont shrink back to their normal size and act as magnets for germs instead. That was when he was getting a cold every two weeks. But, after a few sessions at the osteopath, he was clear for about six months - till we started kindy. I guess we'll be visiting the osteopath again.

And, do you keep a child home until they're absolutely healthy again? That would be the ideal case if you didn't want to pass it onto some other family. But obviously other people are going to school with colds. I know that when I was in high school, I didn't get to stay home unless I couldn't get out of bed - and lets be honest, how often does that genuinely happen with a cold?

Alright, I'm off to war now. Adrian already has it.

Sleeping is Hard Work

2011-03-25T22:46:00.004+10:00

My previous discussions on sleep have all been about babies and how they don't sleep. Well, today its about me and me not sleeping.

I know that I probably don't get enough sleep. Thankfully, I don't particularly like sleeping because there is not enough time in each of my days to do things like read, sew, surf the internet and yes, watch TV. Unfortunately, I also know that healthy sleep habits are required for a healthy body, healthy mind etc etc etc. So, I want to sleep.

And, I try. I make an effort to go to cut short all the fun things I could be doing and go to bed. But, it has always been a struggle for me. It takes me anywhere between 30 minutes and 120 minutes to actually fall asleep. I've been like this for as long as I can remember and it is frustrating. Its a waste of valuable time doing absolutely nothing - not even sleeping. If I get out of bed then I have to start the whole 'going to sleep' process again, waste more time and lose even more actual time sleeping.

Breastfeeding has been my temporary solution. Its been great this past year to be able to just lie down and fall asleep. Prolactin is the hormone that makes milk and its also the body's stress fighting/relaxation hormone and I think it has been my sleeping pill. I'm an addict!

Unfortunately, Adrian has been sleeping better recently. Have you ever heard a mother complain about such a development? I don't need to feed him as much at night and sometimes, he doesn't wake at the time that I want to go to sleep. So, I just lie there, waiting to fall asleep. Sometimes I wait so long that I'll purposely go wake him up just so that I need to feed him. Crazy isn't it when the goal is supposedly to have a baby sleep 12 hours straight.

Its 11pm now and I'm hoping to go to sleep. Hopefully, he'll wake up soon and I'll just have to feed him. Good night!

9 weeks down 550 weeks to go

2011-03-22T20:47:00.006+10:00

I've been doing the daily chaffering of Aaron to and from school for around 9 weeks now. The novelty of it all is still around and I look forward to getting him ready each morning. It hasn't been a chore yet and I still get a thrill out of seeing him walking off to class with his little backpack.

I eagerly ask him each day what he has done but he's still very tight lipped about it all. I wish the school had a webcam that I could use to peek in on him through the day. I'm always so excited about everything that he's doing.

Its the same with any of the activities that his school organizes - and there have been quite a few in 9 short weeks! I haven't groaned that we need to make yet another trip to the school or that I need to prepare some food. It all seems so fun.

I'm in the 'honeymoon' period aren't I? I don't remember my mother being all that upbeat about taking me to school for another concert or from some fund raising activity.

In the big, long scheme of things, I'm only 1.6% of the way through Aaron's school life - rough calculation indicates that there are around 550 school weeks in his 13 years of primary and secondary school. I wonder when I'll start feeling the grind of it all.

Am I turning into one of those women who have made their children their lives? I hope that I won't suddenly feel lost in 551 weeks time. At the same time, I don't want to eventually end up being one of those grouchy mothers that always complain about spending the day driving, cooking and cleaning for their children. I want all this enthusiasm that I have now to last.

And what brought on a post like this? Well, tomorrow is the Autumnal Celebration at his class and right now, I am waiting for the agar-agar I made to set so I can top it off with some fruits. I have never even heard of 'Autumnal Celebrations' before this - I think they made it up.

Favorite Childhood TV Show

2011-03-19T21:11:00.003+10:00

One thing led to another today and somehow, I now have the perfect follow on post from my last one. Moving on from my favorite childhood author, Roald Dahl, let me share with you my favorite TV show - Sha Na Na.

Let me just say that today was the first time I've watched them in....er....thirty years? Richard and I laughed ourselves silly! I actually have no recollection of what they looked like (or that some of them wore gold jackets with no shirts underneath). I just remember liking the music and also that there was a guy showing off his muscles (actually, I'm now not sure what he's doing) at the end of each show. Here's the ending of one of the shows, look out for it:

And for more laughs, you must watch this. This is my favorite after a night of watching them on YouTube.

What did you watch? Did anybody else watch this?

Favorite Childhood Stories

2011-03-17T19:55:00.003+10:00

Aaron is quite the reader at the moment. He enjoys reading as much as outdoor play or playing with his dinosaurs. And finally, he is now old enough to read some of the books that I remember enjoying. We are now reading the first of the books that I have had in my mental list of books he must read. Guess where this is from?

'Give us the recipe, O Brainy One!' cried the audience impatiently. 'Tell us the secret.'

'First,' said The Grand High Witch, 'I had to find something that vould cause the children to become very small very qvickly.'.

'And what was that?' cried the audience.

'That part vos simple,' said The Grand High Witch. 'All you have to do if you are vishing to make a child very small is to look at him through the wrrrong end of a telescope.'

'So you take the wrrong end of a telescope,' continued The Grand High Witch, 'and you boil it until it gets soft.'

OK, in case you didn't see the Grand High clue above, its from 'The Witches' by Roald Dahl. I loved that book and am enjoying it as much now as I did as a child. Aaron is also thrilled with it. He couldn't wait to find out what happened and of course kept asking me if witches were real or not. I can imagine the book being quite convincing to a 4 year old. I only read it when I was around 8 years old. Roald Dahl was my favorite author as a child. I liked all the books. The next one I want Aaron to read is 'The BFG'.

I liked all of the Roald Dahl stories because there was so much craziness weaved into every day lives about children. They were fantasy stories, yet they were not. It was all his stories that inspired me to write plenty of short stories as a child.

The other two series of books that I remember vividly are the stories of The Famous Five and The Secret Seven by Enid Blyton. What I remember of these stories is that the children went on wild adventures and solved mysteries without the help of any adults. They had the freedom to do whatever they wanted. I wanted a life like that but the furthest I ever went on my bike was to my grandmother's house in the neighboring suburb.

Roald Dahl might have been my favorite author but Enid Blyton was definitely the author that I read most of because of the sheer number of books she wrote. Some of the other stories I remember reading were about girls in boarding schools. All the midnight snacks and mischief that they got up to made me want to be shipped off too. I actually very nearly got that wish but just as I was starting to have some secret doubts about it, my parents chickened out. I shouldn't say that, they just thought that twelve was too young to be living away from them.

So back to Aaron and his reading. We're going to work our way through all of Roald Dahl's books and then I'll see if he gets into the Famous Five or Secret Seven.

What did you most enjoy reading as a child?

Just Relax!

2011-03-15T20:25:00.003+10:00

Relaxing is something I have lots of trouble with. I always want to relax but very often, I don't think I reach that state.

On a whim, I booked myself in for a facial this afternoon. I haven't had my faced professionally cleaned in nearly two years and I really needed it! It was one hour of lying down, listening to some new-age type music and having somebody repeatedly clean, exfoliate and massage my face. It was peaceful in there and I might even have forgotten that I am a frazzled mother in real life.

Strangely, I felt as if my body was rejecting all the relaxation. I'd be lying there, thinking of how peaceful I was feeling when I would suddenly notice that all my fingers and toes were tense and some pointing at strange angles. It was weird. I'd relax them only to find that after awhile, my knees were locked tight. This went on the entire time. I tried to quiet my mind as well but that was even harder. The more I tried, the more it seemed to have things to think about. Maybe its a combination of a lack of practice at relaxing and enjoying calmness as well as the brain thinking that its finally got some bandwith to do some thinking that doesn't involve firefighting situations with Aaron and Adrian.

One of the things that crossed my mind was that after I had quit my job and before I became a mother, I had lots of time to myself. However, back then, I felt that I must not relax because that would be lazy and I would be wasting all the time that I had. Silly me! I should have been practicing back then. Look whats happened now, I rarely get any time to myself and when I do, I don't know how to use it to relax.

In the end, whether I was relaxed or not, I did have a great (waking) one hour of not moving, not speaking and not needing to listen. I should do this again some time....need the practice.

We've Got Another Talker

2011-03-13T19:18:00.003+10:00

Over the past few weeks, Adrian as been using an increasing number of words. Most of them are still hard to decipher but once we've figured out what he's saying, we've noticed that he uses the same mispronounced word for that object. The strangest one by far is 'bachi' which he uses for 'tomato'.

The past week has been particularly interesting because I've had a lot more one on one time with him and it seems to have spurred him on even more. It is very gratifying to see some direct results from my time at home. We have a toy tortoise whose head comes out after pressing down some colored shapes. As we pressed through the colors, Adrian stopped at blue, said 'Boo' and then walked over to a little abacus we have near by and pointed out the blue beads and said 'Boo' again. That was a proud moment for me!

Aaron has always been a good big brother and very often tries to get Adrian to play with him. All the while, Aaron will be talking non-stop and I guess Adrian is picking up on that too. So, while it might have previously been tiring having an all-day-long talker like Aaron around, it might not be such a bad thing now that Adrian looks like he's going to be a little chatterbox too. They can just talk to each other all day long and I'll listen in. LOL!

Yes, I already expect to someday be embarrassed by something that one or both of them will say in public. Today, I did feel a little awkward but it was cute enough for me not to feel full on embarrassment. We were in a crowded market and I wanted to look around so I asked Richard to carry Adrian even though I knew that there would be a lot of protest about it. He's going through a Mama-only phase. Anyway, when Richard took him from me, Adrian was crying and screaming a little and then all of a sudden, I hear "Help Me! Mama! Help Me!" Where did he get that from? And how could I not go help him?

I Am Thankful

2011-03-12T09:51:00.003+10:00

This year is certainly shaping up to be one of natural disasters. I did spend a couple of hours watching the news last night because the images of the quake and subsequent tsunami were incredibly mesmerizing. Mother nature's raw power initially evoke thoughts of anger and fury, as if she's 'paying us back' for what we've done to the earth. But thats not true. The threat, potential and realization of these disasters have been around through the ages. Unfortunately, our modern lives have evolved in ways that maybe amplify the damage in terms of human lives and loss of livelihoods.

During the Queensland floods, we didn't get to watch any news coverage because of the power outage. When we finally could, I was glued to the TV. When the Christchurch earthquake hit, I watched a little of the news and read bits of it in the newspaper. It just seemed to sad to read about the destruction and emotional turmoil that all these people were thrown into. And now with this latest quake in Japan, I was particularly interested in the footage of the tsunami because its the first time I've seen what they mean by a 'wall of water'. (Somehow, I didn't see any of it during the Indonesian quake in 2004).

Stories of survivors are always uplifting but they're always accompanied by stories of the many more that have died or lost loved ones. I've managed to get in touch with some of my friends in Japan but there is still one more I haven't heard from. Thankfully, they all life in Tokyo. I find myself not wanting to watch all the details of what is happening on the ground level in Japan now. A quick glance of the headlines this morning to know that they now have the threat of a radiation leak and a death toll of potentially over 1000 is depressing enough.

Instead, I am reminded today of how thankful I need to be of all that I have. The family that I have, the house that we live in, the money that we have to pay for food and education, the relative stability of the country we live in and overall, the general contentment and lack of serious worries in my life.

What Is Going On In That Little Head?!

2011-03-10T21:16:00.007+10:00

We've had a new development today. The problem is that I can't decide if its an extension of belly button exploration or he's imitating Aaron who often tries to hook things to the side of his shorts to act as a scabbard.

Look at the satisfaction on his face when he finally got it right.

He was having so much fun with that toy xylophone until he discovered this other use for the sticks. *sigh* At least I'll know to look whenever there isn't any 'music' happening.

Body Types Renamed

2011-03-08T15:33:00.003+10:00

Just last week, a friend and I were having a discussion about ourselves being apples and pears. As of now, the underwear giant, Triumph, is trying to re-label women according to famous artists. So, technically, if I was previously a pear, I'm now Botticelli. Unfortunately, the famous Botticelli celebrity is Beyonce and well.....I don't exactly look like that. I might be more of a Da Vinci these days but then, I'm no Jennifer Aniston either.

The move to re-label came after a survey found that women weren't happy with their curves being described in terms of fruits. The fruits were self deprecating but the artists are meant to lift one's self esteem. Strangely, it was easier to label myself when it was less positive. Its not that I liked calling myself a pear or banana or whatever but it was easier to say than "Hey, I've got a body like Beyonce/Jenifer Aniston!"

Anyway, here are the new definitions:

RAPHAEL
Used to be: Inverted triangle
Shape: Bigger up top with broad shoulders and/or buxom bust and a comparatively smaller waist and hips
Celebrity: Libby Tricket

RUBENS
Used to be: Apple
Shape: Well-proportioned and carry weight around the midsection
Celebrity: Susannah Constantine (Trinny and Susannah)

DA VINCI
Used to be: Banana or straight
Shape: Features classic lines, pretty much straight up and down, giving an elegant form
Celebrity: Jennifer Aniston

BOTTICELLI
Used to be: Pear
Shape: Bottom heavy, bigger around the hips and bottom than the bust region
Celebrity: Beyonce

REMBRANDT
Used to be: Hourglass
Shape: A smaller waist with a fuller bust and bottom.
Celebrity: Scarlett Johansson

Matisse
Shape: Narrow shoulders and hips, you may have a wider midriff and carry some weight in your upper legs
Celebrity: Kate Winslet

Here's the newsclip. Watch to the end for some new artists...

The Wisdom of Children

2011-03-07T20:34:00.000+10:00

We all know that children often say what they are thinking and its sometimes funny, sometimes insightful and usually unpredictable. I got this list from the back of the parish newsletter - how did they expect me to pay full attention with such funny reading material?!

A teacher presented the class with a list of the beginnings of well-known proverbs and asked the children to complete each of them.

Better to be safe than...Punch a fifth grader.

Where there is smoke, there's...pollution.

Two's company, three's...the Musketeers.

Happy the bride who...gets all the presents.

The pen is mightier than the...pigs.

If you lie down with the dogs, you'll...stink in the morning.

As you shall make your bed, so shall you...mess it up.

It is always darkest before...daylight saving time.

Don't bite the hand that...looks dirty.

A miss is as good as a...mr.

You can't teach an old dog new...maths.

A penny saved is...not much.

Children should be seen and not...spanked or grounded.

When the blind lead the blind...get out of the way.

Fast life or Slow life?

2011-03-06T13:38:00.003+10:00

Do you all remember back to the time when I lived in Palembang? I was a really diligent blogger - everyday except for Saturdays. (I probably had a lot more readers then too.) I also used to complain quite a bit about how routine our lives were over there with nothing much to do and nowhere to go. Life moved at a very slow and steady pace.

Its quite the opposite here in Brisbane, especially over the past six weeks. Ordinarily, there are already lots of outings that we plan and don't plan. Its easy to jump in the car and go out somewhere if things were a little slow at home.

Since the end of January, I've had an old friend staying here with us. We've known each other for close to 25 years so she's more like family than a friend. Before she got here, I asked her how long she was staying and her answer was always "Until you kick me out." My response to that was that the noise in this house would drive her away automatically. In any case, she lasted six fun weeks and I think got a good look at what day-to-day motherhood is about.

I had a good time with her around. An extra person in the house to talk to during the day makes a lot of difference. Unfortunately, I wasn't exactly the ideal host to show her a good night out on the town or anything like that. In fact, she only saw Brisbane by night on two occasions during her stay! Instead, we spent a lot of time cooking, sewing and driving Aaron back and forth from school.

It sounds like a very mundane time but it wasn't - not for me anyway. There was only a rough outline of routine to each day. In my mind, its sort of a fusion of her single lifestyle where things can be done on a whim and my life where the aim is usually to stick to the same routine each and every day. All that fun and laughter has just made the past six weeks disappear. Even with her gone, I know that the next few weeks are going to fly by - with or without a solid routine.

So, this is our first Sunday at home in a long time. I've been thinking of how much I hated the routine in Palembang but how tiring it can sometimes get when you don't have a routine to lean on. Life was slow in Palembang but here in Brisbane, time is moving at warp speed. I know that one place isn't better than the other place but I can't help comparing. And I like wondering which one would be the more ideal lifestyle. Slow and steady so you can enjoy each and every second. Or fast moving and unpredictable with the excitement and momentum that makes weeks disappear in seconds?

I don't think there is really a balance to be achieved either because its a little like fast forwarding, then jerking to a pause and then fast forwarding again. I'm also starting to think that I can't slow it down even if I wanted to because there is just so much to do each day. All I can do is make it a little more organized so that its not all crazy, fire fighting madness every day. So, I'm going to do some cooking for the week now.

I Don't Judge - My Baby Has Chipped Teeth

2011-02-28T21:14:00.005+10:00

I'm not a first time mom, I know that toddlers will have accidents. I'm not talking about the potty kind of accident, but real falls and bumps along the way. They're unsteady on their feet, they go to fast and don't have brakes that work all the time and they sometimes just run into things because they are too excited and don't see things.

So, I've been through it all once before and I have to say I did well the first time. Aaron had very few falls and never had a cut or any scrapes that bled until he was well over two years old.

I'm pretty sure I'm the same type of mother (in fact, a more experience one) yet I'm starting to see a different story with the other little guy. You may recall that at six months old, he already managed to cut his finger and need three stitches.

And since he's started walking, he spends a lot of his time chasing after Aaron. Its natural that he'd want to do everything that Aaron does. Unfortunately, this has led to many accidents - falling this way and that, tripping on a toy or maybe his own feet and just bumping into things. Once, he tripped and bit is tongue

The other day, I discovered something that really made me feel like I need to have my eyes on him even more than I do now. His two front teeth are chipped! The dentist has assured me that its no big deal and as long as the teeth don't get dark colored, everything will be fine. The problem is that I have no idea when or how this happened?

Shortly after I made that discovery, I noticed that his toenail was about to drop off. *sigh* What has this baby been doing?? I've been there for all the falls haven't I?

Today, a friend generously helped to watch Adrian in the playground while I attended a parent/child session in Aaron's classroom. When we met up, she showed me that Adrian had tripped and grazed his forehead on the footpath. I know she felt bad about it but I said "Hey, I'm a mother whose baby has chipped teeth. I don't judge..."

Aaron in Action

2011-02-25T20:30:00.005+10:00

The 'I Dig Dinos' school holiday program was cut short in January because of the floods but last weekend, Jurassic Joe came back for a few shows. Aaron went to several of them and I couldn't work hard enough trying to stop him from volunteering for everything. Who wants to sing? ME!! Who wants to dance? ME!!

He really had a good time and I did feel a little bad holding him back. He had this fantastic solo but at that time, my camera battery decided to go flat so you'll have to take my word on it. IT WAS PERFECT! He knew all the words and sang it in the same key the whole way. You have to believe me :)

We went back on the second day but there were no more solos, just lots of dancing. Here's a short clip of him with Jurassic Joe.

Just Chatting

2011-02-23T17:13:00.003+10:00

Aaron officially started at a Montessori kindergarten this year. I was very excited for him and imagined all the brilliant concepts he would be picking up in the classroom filled with stimulating activities. I liked the idea that there was a mix of practical life lessons such as banana cutting and the more academic stuff, like addition up to thousands with the 'golden beads'.

For five weeks now, I ask him "How was your day? What did you do?". The answer is always the same, "Just chatting with my friends."

Today, I went in for a class observation to confirm my worst fears. Of the one hour I was there, he spent 45 mins at the snack table, chatting. I made a mental note to myself not to pack so much food! And the remaining 15 mins I was there, he demonstrated to me how to clean a table top. At least, he did a very thorough job.

Naturally, a part of me has been trying to get concerned. We're paying good money for him to chat?? The other part is telling me to give him time to adjust to socializing. The teacher has eased my mind a little by letting me know that he has been getting some of the other lessons as well but I can't help it, I imagined more.

The teachers send out a short weekly report on whats going on in the classroom and recently, they had this to say :

When asked what are they have chosen to do the response is “just chatting.”

While the children are engaging in conversations with each other they are practicing the skills needed to express themselves as well as to listen to the thoughts of others.

The act of listening to the thoughts and needs of others is a small step towards building a cohesive group of individuals.

Large scale social reform and world peace (Montessori's Philosophy and Education Aim) can only be achieved when listening to the thoughts and needs of others and therefore, “Just chatting” is recognised as a valuable piece of work in the Montessori Childrens' House.

Alright! He's learning how to negotiate world peace!

Obviously, I'm not the only new parent wondering if the freedom of the Montessori system works seeing as the kids just chat all day long. I did visit a class sometime last year and I saw kids engaged in individual work and exploration, I'm clinging on to that hope.

Lego at GOMA

2011-02-20T21:51:00.009+10:00

We have had a BIG weekend. It was completely child centric and we enjoyed it immensely. One of the most refreshing things about watching children is witnessing the excitement that they have for simple things and the genuine awe that they demonstrate when presented with something new. As we "grow up", we're often enslaved by appearances and what we think other people might think of us. Also, as children, there are more 'first experiences' where you don't try to compare something with something else from the past.

Well, these past two days, I really felt that we had immersed ourselves completely in enjoying the same things that Aaron and Adrian do. The weekend seemed particularly carefree...

The Museum, State Library and Gallery of Modern Art (GOMA) re-opened this weekend after being closed since the January floods. The three places are next to each other and we went to all three. Jurassic Joe played four concerts a day at the Museum, Aaron's Saturday sing-along at the library resumed with a special band playing and GOMA's exhibition was 21st Century: Art in the first decade.

Needless to say, the singing at the museum and library were lots of fun but the "WOW" moment came for me at GOMA.

I have come to love Lego. Didn't like them much as a child but since I started playing with Aaron....I love 'em. So, when I saw the white area with elegant looking mini-buildings, I thought "Thats interesting". But then, I realized they were made of Lego and the table was FULL of Lego brings for anyone to go build.

"WOW!"

Seriously, I was suddenly a child again and I was excited, exhilarated and feeling so happy because it was the first time I had access to so much Lego.

Aaron and I were not there for long enough and we're planning to go back. Richard and Adrian looked through the rest of the exhibition but it was too close to nap time so we had to tear ourselves away. (And I haven't even seen the rest of the exhibition yet!)

What I liked best was that all the bricks were white and I didn't need to do any matching or look for a particular color. There were plenty of bricks of all sizes right there in front of us. No running out of anything! The whole white bricks look just made me think of it even more as heaven....

OK. For all my raving about how much I loved it and how much I like Lego, this is all I had time to make today. Not the amazing structures in the background, the oval building with the double helix is mine....

I need to go back. I would love to try to build something HUGE.

I Don't 'Friend' You Anymore!

2011-02-17T14:49:00.006+10:00

I have no idea how the kids here in Australia say it but back when I was in kindergarten and primary school in Malaysia, there was a lot of "I don't friend you anymore!" thrown about.

Some days, Aaron comes back from school and says things like "Amber was my friend today" or "Ben wasn't my friend today". Today, it was "It looks like Freddy and Hudson are starting not to be my friends anymore." I know these are his words and I do wonder what they say or do to him that makes him tell me this. When asked, he shrugged his shoulders and said "I just feel it." Thankfully, he doesn't seem hurt or disappointed.

I'm not worried about him (yet). I know that this is a natural part of growing up and he'll figure it out. After all, I was one of those mean girls that had a first best friend (and a backup second best friend) and would frequently use friendships to my advantage yet I think I've grown up to be a decent person in terms of being a friend.

Nevertheless, its strange how human beings start off being completely alone and not needing any friends (except mom). And then, maturing to having a curiosity for other people of a similar size. Finally, they actively search for someone, anyone, to become 'friends' with only to then pick and choose which ones to share a friendship with and turn that status on and off depending on benefits.

The scary thing when I observe the children in the playground is that they are brutally honest with each other and have not yet developed any tact or sensitivities in dealing with people they no longer want to be friends with. On the practical side, it does make things a whole lot easier - none of that tip toeing around or avoiding people you don't want to hang out with. Still, as a mother, I had to give Aaron the whole speech about treating everybody politely and equally and not worry too much about whether or not somebody wants to be your friend.

Weird and Wacky Gadgets I'd Like

2011-02-15T13:57:00.004+10:00

There was an entertaining news article today entitled "Weird, wacky and useful travel gadgets". It cites the example of wheels on suitcases as a once wacky gadget that people didn't expect to take off. Now, they've become a must have in almost all situations. Amongst the new-ish gadgets listed are the scanner proof underwear, Doberman luggage protector, hanging tents, banana guards and caffeine impregnated soap. You can read the full article here.

As I think through the day I've just had, there are a few gadgets that would make my life that little bit easier:

1) A tiny GPS system that I can pin to the back of Adrian's shirt (so that he won't pull it off) that will announce aloud the areas of the house that he is approaching. This should be able to be configured to only call out areas of concern. For example "2 meters to stairs" or "1 meter from rubbish bin".

2) An integrated remote control key that gives me the option of unlocking the front door and car doors at the same time. And then of course, lock the front door as soon as I start the car engine. Maybe it could unlock the front door as soon as the car drives into the driveway. For security purposes, the front door and car locks will need to be matched together somehow. You may wonder why I would need help with such a simple task but when you're carrying a big nappy bag and wrestling a little guy that tries to snatch your keys - this will help A LOT.

3) Following on from gadget #2, an additional button that will actually open the doors for me. Maybe this gadget exists already....

4) A "magnetic" toy box that can be turned on to attract all the toys back into the box. The special magnet will need to be able to attract plastics as well. And it has to somehow weave through any children standing in the way. I believe in training children to pick up their toys but this feature would come in very handy now when Adrian isn't quite there yet.

5) Umbrellas that can close by just pushing a button instead of struggling to push a button and pull down to collapse it. It would be even better if it collapsed into an enclosed, quick drying case. And to make it worth the premium price, it should be able to balance somewhere on an open car door so that I can strap Adrian into the car seat without getting all wet.

Its been a long day and I'm off to dream of more ways to help make my days easier. Is there a gadget that you could do with today?

Where have all the cousins gone?

2011-02-10T09:42:00.006+10:00

In total, counting both sides of the family, I have 16 cousins. To me, this is a pretty pathetic number given that there are 4 siblings on my father's side and 6 on my mother's.

Both my parents have told us fun stories of their childhoods, inter-twined with their cousins. Even today, they often meet up and I can see how much they enjoy each others company and how close they all are.

As children, my brother and I rarely got together with the cousins all at once. We were in Australia and they were scattered in Europe, England and different parts of Malaysia. As kids, we all got along and did have lots of fun. But now, as adults, there is always a period of awkwardness. Its as if we remember that we used to have fun together but we're now grown up and if we weren't related, are practically strangers to each other. Thankfully, I think we all feel that while we may not know each other well, we would like to.

In recent years, the only time that we've all gotten together is when one of us got married. What happens when we're all married? What happens when all my grand parents pass away and there is no longer an anchor in Malaysia to keep us going back?

By watching my parents, their siblings and their cousins, I have seen what a big family can be like. And, even if I didn't exactly experience it first hand, I could see what it was like and appreciate it. Unfortunately, I don't think Aaron and Adrian will have the chance.

Firstly, there are only three people in their generation at the moment and it doesn't look like there will be any others for a long time. Both Richard and I have one younger brother each so there aren't going to be a whole lot of first cousins anyway. Secondly, I very rarely meet up with any of my cousins. So, even if second cousins come about later, they probably won't get the chance for any rowdy play as carefree kids. Imagine what that will do to grown up second cousins? Strangers.

Am I supposed to do anything about this? Is it also part of the all encompassing role of mother to ensure that my children will know what 'family' feels like in the future? I want to make the effort but what if I'm the only one that sees any value in this?

Its Awful!

2011-02-06T21:01:00.003+10:00

Last night, I watched part of the movie, "The Backup Plan". It was extremely cheesy and halfway through, I switched over to what I thought would be a better movie, "No Country For Old Men" - winner of four Academy Awards!

I mustn't have been in the right frame of mind for that sort of movie because I went to bed thinking that I just wasted the previous two hours. I was confused and feeling grumpy that the movie was the kind that sort of had no ending.

Ultimately, it was the cheesy movie that had a lasting effect on me. I have been laughing about this scene ever since we watched it last night.

f

Isn't that so true??? Those people that gush about the wonder and beauty of parenthood are leaving out 75% of their day. LOL!

Its probably also true that these *awful* *awful* *awful* *magical* repetitions leaves me unable to dig deep to understand movies like "No Country for Old Men". I've already spent my day digging deep for patience I don't necessarily have.

We Need To Be More Chinese

2011-02-03T21:27:00.003+10:00

Guess what day today is? Chinese New Year!

What did we do about it? Absolutely nothing!

We didn't leave the light on for the God of Prosperity. We didn't wake up and immediately wish each other 'Gong Xi Fa Cai', which is a greeting that wishes the other person a prosperous year ahead. I didn't give Aaron his red packet until bedtime and didn't even give one to Adrian (I'll just bank in the money). We had Domino's pizza for dinner! What we did remember not to do was to NOT sweep the floors. At least we didn't sweep away whatever good luck we may have had there. And also, by chance, I wore a red shirt today, the traditional CNY colour.

I ought to be ashamed of myself but I'm not really beating myself up yet. There is still time for me to inculcate some Chinese culture into my boys. After all, its the first year that Aaron and Adrian have not had any Chinese New Year celebrations. We've made it a big deal in all the previous years. Maybe next year we can aim to be back in Malaysia and make a HUGE deal out of it by inviting the Lion Dance to our house. I used to love that as a child.

In the mean time, there are plenty of other ways to teach Aaron and Adrian about Chinese culture. I need to motivate myself otherwise I'm going to end up with imitation Chinese boys. Doesn't seem a little strange that I need to motivate myself to do this? Maybe its because we grew up with the culture around us and learned about it through osmosis rather than my parents consciously teaching us about Chinese ways. I don't even know where to start with the 'Chinese ways'. What exactly do I want to impart? Surely not all the obsession with prosperity (LOL!).

I think I'll need to think about what 'Chinese ways' actually means. In the mean time, there are still 14 days left to the Chinese New Year celebrations.

GONG XI FA CAI everybody!