The Milk Bar

Ever since I stopped working, I always have trouble filling in the "Occupation" field in forms. Why do people always need to know what you do anyway? Or if you do anything at all? I have a strong dislike for the word "housewife". I don't have an issue with the role but I just don't think its a nice word. So, I usually put down the marginally better "homemaker". Sometimes I'd put "unemployed" just to be different.

I was opening a new bank account today but instead of filling in a paper form, the bank guy was filling out my details on the computer. When it came to the "Occupation" question, I just mumbled off "homemaker" but he said it wasn't an option in his drop down selection. "Housewife" wasn't there either. After looking around, the guy found "Domestic Duties". So they've came up with an alternative to "housewife" and "homemaker" but it wasn't any better. That title could apply to maids and cleaners too. In this day of inflated titles, why did they DE-flate mine? Is it so far fetched to put down "Operations Manager - Home" in that drop down selection?

Anyway, such is life. Now, back to the topic of travel! Take a look at this! The latest addition to Singapore's Changi Airport is a humongous slide. It is supposedly the worlds tallest slide and is targeted at bored adult travelers! Standing four storeys tall, it shoots you down as fast as 6 meters per second.

So, most adults would prefer not to be seated with kids but would perhaps like to play like little kids to relieve their boredom during long transit times. Hmmmmm.....

It sounds like a lot of fun but the article says that it costs $25 for two rides. Thats a bit steep and I'm not sure I'd pay up for those few seconds of fun.

Anyway, I get plenty of entertainment people watching at airports. And back in the good old days where I didn't travel with a constantly chatting little boy, it was also the time I did all my day dreaming. I used to feel guilty sitting around day dreaming in my normal days at work or at home because that would be classified as a waste of time. But at an airport, what else is there to do?

I came across an interesting article today about airline travel. It didn't surprise me to read that the majority (68%) of the people who were for this proposal were non parents. The article makes a good suggestion of having people who preferred to sit in the non-family section pay a little extra for that perk.

Personally, I'm undecided on whether I would like a family only section. On the one hand, a section like that would definitely reduce the pressure of traveling with young children. Kids are kids, and rather than saying they misbehave on planes (or other confined spaces), I like to think of them as behaving in a non-conforming way. They're kids and sometimes, its understandable that long, tiring journeys make it hard for them to control themselves. Even adults get grumpy but the difference is that they just know that its not socially acceptable for them to start a screaming tantrum. So, a separate section would have the benefit of having to deal with a child's tantrum without feeling the additional pressure of evil dagger stares from fellow passengers.

However, on the other hand, Aaron and Adrian have so far been very good on planes. Somebody even came up to me at the end of our recent flight from Malaysia to let me know how well behaved they were. So, if we were to be put in the family only section, we might have to put up with other kids that are having a hard time and sometimes, that sort of behavior is contagious amongst kids!

Costs aside, what I think I would like is an entire flight that was modified to be family friendly. I'm talking about a children's movie section, a baby/toddler exploration area, arts and crafts section for older kids, maybe a reading corner and then of course a quiet section for nap time. Oh, and lets not forget a naughty corner for time-outs! Some creativity will be needed to take care of all the safety issues with children not having their seat belts on and running about mid-flight. I don't have the solution yet but its worth pondering upon.

For now, until I have my own airline with the family friendly flights, I guess I'll be sticking to night flights where there is a higher chance of the children being asleep for most of the flight.

Aaron is no stranger to gardening. For those of you who have been reading my blog for awhile, you'll remember me blogging about him helping out in the garden in Palembang. He helped me with the planting and harvesting as well as the weeding and sweeping. The garden in Palembang was about his only playground.

Over here in Brisbane, my father is head gardener of the family and Aaron is his assistant. Its a much bigger area than our tiny strip in Palembang and there is much more to do. Our aim is to be able to eat our own vegetables for most of our meals. Its fun, healthy and somehow, food from the garden seems so much tastier.

Here's Aaron in action, fooling around with the hose that my father was trying to fix. He looks silly but I always make him wear one of my mother's old hats when they're outside. It provides a lot more shade then his little caps. As compensation, I got him those "work boots".

Its hayfever time for me here in Brisbane. If memory serves me correctly, August is one of the more windy months of the year and since we're moving in to spring, those winds are sending the pollen everywhere, especially up my nose.

I had forgotten all about how irritating this time of the year can be. All I can think about right now is how itchy my nose is and how I must not touch it anymore or I'll have a peeling, itchy nose tomorrow. That would be irritating AND ugly!

So, to help with the distraction, here's a list of things, from my experience, to do to distract yourself from an itchy nose:

1. Breath slowly, evenly and not too deeply.

2. Eat something. Crunchy things work best.

3. Have a steaming hot shower.

4. Bite on the collar of your T-shirt. (Unsightly but if you're at home, nobody will see you anyway.)

5. Leave your house and go somewhere else indoors. Walking in the mall is good as a distraction and also helps with the blood circulation which in turn seems to help with the itchy nose (and all the other hayfever symptoms in general.) Note: Don't go to a library. Those places make itchy noses itchier.

Alright, so I did all those things today. I also took one of those little hayfever pills but its not working yet. I think its time for me to go rummage for something to chew on. Let me know what you do when hayfever strikes.

Adrian loves standing. Each time we put him down, he crawls to the nearest support point and pulls himself up. So today, I casually mentioned to Aaron that he'll soon be walking and soon after that, we won't have a cute baby in the house anymore.

His response : "We'll just get another one. A girl one."

He said it in such a matter-of-fact way too. Just imagine the tone that a person would use to say something like "We'll just get more batteries. Energizer ones.". He said it like that! He wasn't kidding or anything. He had his normal face on and may have even returned to his toys after making his statement.

I didn't want to burst his bubble so I didn't say much. I did want to know why he wanted a girl one though. According to him, they are quiet and gentle so they must be nicer to play with. I think he's been listening in on my conversations too much. Oops!

He's such a little cutie. He loves Adrian and I'm sure he would love being big brother to a bunch of other siblings. Unfortunately, I'm not sure I'll survive it. Even with his help :)

Yes, it feels like a curse right now. Aaron was a horrible sleeper as a baby and while Adrian scored 100% for sleeping as a newborn, he has gradually dropped to the very bottom of the class. I've come to dread the evenings and nights.

Adrian falls asleep very easily. Its staying asleep that he doesn't know how to do. He doesn't wake to play or feed. He just wakes. For all I know, he could be waking for a cuddle! From the time he goes to bed at around 7.30pm, I attend to him every 30-45 mins until around midnight where he sleeps 2 hour stretches. And, each "attend" can be anything from a 1 minute pat on the back to a 60 minute sobbing session as he tries to go back to sleep. The worst part of it all is that I am the only person that can go in to him. If Richard goes in, he falls apart and its even harder for me to get him to sleep again.

I have seriously been considering "Ferberizing" him. Y'know, the cry-it-out method. I gave a go a couple of months ago but it seemed to halt all of Adrian's development and interaction with us so I stopped. This method just doesn't sit right with me but I am getting desperate.

So far, I have been trying the methods from Elizabeth Pantley's "No Cry Sleep Solution". There has been minimal crying but no sleep either. *sigh*

Why me? Why me? Why me?

The only consolation I have is that things were like this with Aaron but at this very moment, he is asleep in his bed and will stay that way until 6am tomorrow. He started getting good at around three years of age so I only have another two and a half years to go with Adrian (!!!).

I'm here to remind myself that things felt a lot easier with Aaron once I accepted his sleep patterns. I will still try my best to fix this tiring situation but all I can do is my best. If it remains this way, I'll just have to live through it.

I'll get to sleep again....one day....

Motherhood is definitely a strange journey. And, those cute little bundles of joy sure know how to drag a mother around on an emotional leash. One minute I'm tearing my hair out and on the verge of tears and the next, I'm laughing hysterically at something either Aaron or Adrian is doing.

I think it is the mothering of a baby that more distinctly brings out the dichotomy of motherhood. Sure, I had the swings of emotions from one end of the spectrum to the opposite with the three year old Aaron last year but nothing as contrasting as now. I guess its the lack of sleep that exaggerates the whole effect.

A thought that has been replaying itself many times over the past month is "Oh no, this is going to be the last time we have a cute little baby in the house." I really think I'm done. No more kids coming out of me. This makes Adrian and all his baby time extremely cherished.

BUT.

What often happens is that two seconds after I have the above thought, I have the exact opposite. "I can't wait for this baby to grow up so that I don't have to be putting him to sleep/changing his nappy/entertaining him/cleaning up his mess etc".

So, I want them to be babies but I don't.

I started this post in the morning and am only finishing it up now at 8pm. Since the morning, I have been thinking about this dichotomy. I wondered if the awareness of those intense, negatively charged episodes would lesson them or somehow soften them. Yes and No. Maybe a little.

Adrian was incredibly over stimulated and started crying each time I tried to put him to bed. I started getting frustrated each time and just gave up and allowed him to stay up instead. Yes, bad parenting but I was just too lazy to do the work and feel all frustrated and negative. Finally, when I did resolve to put him to sleep, I found that there wasn't all that much frustration. And when he was asleep, I stood there and looked at him, enjoying all the positive emotions instead.

I know that he's going to be up again soon and I'll probably get a little frustrated again but it will pass and then we'll swing to the happy side again.

Back and forth. Up and down. Over and over again.

I'm sure the see-saw effect will lesson as it did with Aaron. After that, I suppose its going to be the teenage years that drive me nuts. Hmmm....do those years come with loss of sleep as well?