The Milk Bar

I didn't put up a post last night because we were at Aaron's school for a Primary Parent Education evening. It sounds like this is something regular but it was our first since Aaron has only recently joined the class. Last night's presentation was more of a celebration because the Australian national curriculum body has recognized the Montessori National Curriculum as an alternative national curriculum. It sounded like a big deal and I can see why it would be a big deal for the Montessori community in Australia  - all Montessori schools now have the same curriculum and there is a document that affirms its methods and teachings as something 'official'. It does make me feel a little more confident that my child will end up learning everything they are supposed to know each year.

I know I sound as if I don't have any confidence in the school that I have chosen for Aaron. This is not the case. I think the Montessori way of educating a child holistically and within context of their lives is brilliant. I love that he will be able to explore and investigate independently but with the support of his teachers. The development of strategic thinking and self discipline is much more important to me than the ability to sit obediently in a classroom and only do homework that he is assigned because he has to.

My hesitation and insecurities about this very system stem from the fact that I have no personal experience with it. It is so far removed from my own childhood education and the many beliefs that my mother has ingrained in me that I can't help but question the "follow the child" motto that drives the Montessori way. How do they know what is good for them? What if they don't choose the right activities? What if they aren't born with any curiosity to investigate anything? All this requires me to trust the teachers in his class more than I think I would need to in a traditional school. There is no homework for me to check up on his work with. No exams to give me some indication on where he stands amongst his peers. I'm in the dark! So, its back to the teacher again. There are meetings with the teacher every term and I have my first one in two weeks.

I've been thinking about it a lot. I need to sound like an interested parent, but I don't want to be labeled as one of those overbearing control freak parents that teachers probably try to avoid. Neither do I want them to think I'm one of those parents that are always worried about their child because they may then only give me the good side of things. Finally, I want them to know that I intend to continue teaching him at home even though they feel that the home is for fun activities, i.e. play. I teach him things in fun ways (except for Chinese) and I want to do this in a complementary way to the things he is exposed to at school. (OK, so maybe there is a bit of that control freak parent in me but they don't need to know that.)

So, let me end this post with this video clip. It sums up what the Montessori system is and why it is so attractive to me.

Yes, thats exactly what I'm doing right now. I'm pretty sure its not counted as eavesdropping because they are forcing me to listen to them.

Our house is sandwiched by two blocks of units and unfortunately, I hardly know who lives next door. They aren't usually noisy and this post isn't about how terrible they are for being this loud. In fact, they are providing a lot of entertainment.

I can't really see them but I think there are about three or four men out on the balcony. And, they are singing. Not karaoke but just singing along to their CD players or iPods or whatever. That alone would have been funny enough for me but they are singing all the songs that I had forgotten about. Music that I used to listen to all the time. In a way, they are taking me on a slightly off key walk down memory lane.

They're all singing along and they know all the words. I find it strange that a group of men would sit around and do this. They aren't even rubbishing one another. And take a look at the type of songs they have been singing....

From 1994:



From 1995:



This has left me with a bit of a puzzled feeling inside because singing along to CDs was not something I thought guys did when they sat around with their friends. In any case, they are very distracting because I also know all the words to that particular Boys II Men CD and can't help joining in quietly from my little corner here.

I had a very interesting conversation with Aaron and Adrian today. Out of the blue, Aaron proclaimed from his car seat that he would be an excavator driver when he grew up - no surprises there. It was his second proclamation that got my attention. He announced that Adrian would be a coffin maker. What?!

Aaron's rationale was that Adrian would make my coffin and he would dig the hole where my coffin would be buried. Now, don't start thinking that my kids already wish me dead, they were actually being very matter-of-fact about it. I told them that I preferred to be cremated (and kept in an urn in their home). Unfortunately, Aaron insisted that he didn't want me to be burned up. And, without me even saying it, he came to the realization that if I wasn't cremated, I'd have to decompose in the ground. So, in this horrified voice, he said "I don't want the maggots to eat you either! I want to put something on you so that you'll stay the same."

Of course, this lead to quite a drawn out back and forth conversation about how we all have to die and we all either end up decomposing or cremated. I had to resort to offering them some snacks in the car to distract then from the conversation because it was reaching the point where Aaron was starting to get worried about me dying. And when I said that if I didn't get sick or have an accident, I should have many more years left, it didn't console him for long because he then started to think of my parents and how old they already are now.

Poor little guy, he was really starting to get worked up about it. It started off as an innocent plan on how to prepare my grave but it lead him to realize a whole lot of unpleasant things about the end of life. I gave him my usual explanation of how when we die, we hopefully get to heaven and will meet the people that have died before us. Thats how I like to think about it but you can see how easily a five year old is going to shoot me down with questions on that one.

It was a somewhat depressing conversation but at the same time, it was sweet to see how much Aaron cares about me.

I had to fill in a form at Adrian's speech pathology appointment and amongst plenty of other details, it asked for the ages that he rolled over, started babbling, spoke his first word, spoke his first sentence, stood up and walked. Uhmmmmm.....Hmmmmmm...I clearly remember him trying to walk with a stool at around 7 months and actually taking his first steps at 10 months. As for rolling over, there is a post somewhere on this blog about that but I'll need to look for it. And first words/sentences? I don't know! He's been talking for a long time and I often think that he talks too much.

What kind of mother am I? Should I have all this information at the forefront of my brain? And if not, shouldn't I have written them down somewhere? Somebody gave me one of those baby journals when he was born but there are only about six entries and the last one was when he was around 4 months old. If only I had stuck with that.

I think I made more of an effort with Aaron but that doesn't mean I can remember each of those ages. I have it written down somewhere, maybe spread out over several somewheres. I wrote him a letter for each month of his young life for about a year and a half but guess what? Hard disk crashed and I had deleted the backup off my external hard disk to make room for more photos. This blog is about the most reliable place for me to go and look up the past.

I feel bad about this. I know I'll have wonderful memories about their early years but these are general memories with the occasional specific incident here and there. Somehow, it feels as if this is not going to be enough when I'm old and sitting alone in a nursing home somewhere. I suppose I'll just have the thousands of photos and video clips of them played on slideshow in my room.

A commitment needs to be made but I dare not make it now. Nearly two years ago, I started working on photo albums for each year of Aaron's life but I have nothing to show for it. These precious little beings are my life but by that very fact, they take up all my time and I'm not sure I'll ever get around to preserving some sort of account of their childhood for me to savour once they are grown.

Here's an example of the simple things I'd like to remember in years to come. This was taken yesterday when they were out in the garden looking for bugs. Adrian looks like he's in his PJs but thats actually just a big shirt made from very light material to help protect him from the sun. The hat he's wearing was one bought at Pangkor Island for Aaron. Its a girl's one and originally came with two fake plaits down the sides. Aaron really is in his PJs and he's wearing the Superman cap that a close friend of mine gave him a couple of years ago.

Oh, and maybe Id like to remember that we always had to eat sweet potato leaves because they grow like crazy in our garden.

I really like that name - Make Do. Its one of our family mottos so when I saw this 'toy', I really felt drawn to it. Its not so much a toy but a kit that will allow you to make toys out of things around your house. I'm not going to give you the link to their official website until the end of my post, after you've seen our projects.

Our practice project was this caravan looking bus that ended up being a semi trailer that moved cars.

In Malaysia, I often see babies out and about in shopping centers right up until closing time at 10pm. Even if they are at home, I think many go to sleep for the night when their parents go. These are based on my observations of people in my family and my neighbors. School aged children also have bedtimes that are quite late because they often have extra tuition classes in the evenings that don't finish until 9pm.

My intention tonight was to find some data on bed times around the world. Unfortunately, the best I can do is the information I share below. I got it from the Sleep Education blog and I think their information originated from a study presented at Sleep 2008 by the American Academy of Sleep Medicine.

Children in New Zealand went to bed the earliest with an average bedtime of 7:16 p.m. Children in Hong Kong went to bed the latest with an average bedtime of 10:10 p.m. U.S. children had an average bedtime of 8:52 p.m.

Japanese children had the lowest total sleep time (i.e., nightly sleep plus daytime naps) of 11.6 hours of sleep per day. Children in New Zealand had the highest total sleep time of 13.3 hours of sleep. U.S. children averaged 12.9 hours of total sleep time per day.

I don't think its healthy for children to go to bed so late and personally, I wouldn't be able to handle the meltdowns that would occur if Aaron or Adrian were to stay up to 10pm but its out of necessity that this happens in many Asian countries. It deserves a whole post of its own but those evening tuition classes that I mentioned are a necessity to pass all the school exams. Oh and don't forget the amount of homework that children in Asia get - homework from school AND the tuition classes.

Once again, I am counting my blessings that we get to live here where there is no homework and children go to bed early. Hopefully, this won't backfire on them in the long run.

Remember my post about the six holes in Aaron's teeth? As an update, we've completed four fillings and will get the remaining two this coming Saturday. He's been very good at all of them and refused a needle each time. 


Here is some 'exciting' news. I've been doing some reading and there is more that can be done apart from just brushing and flossing. Supposedly, Licorice Root is effective in helping fight tooth decay. The most recent article I've come across is this one from Science Daily.


Licorice has been used in traditional Chinese medicine and researchers have now identified two substances in it that kill three of major the bacteria responsible for gum disease and tooth decay. We're talking about the original root of the licorice plant here and not what you get from the candy stores. The candy is actually flavored with anise oil which has a similar taste.  


There are many other articles about the anti-bacterial properties of licorice and I think it does work because I have been giving Aaron a mixture of licorice root and herb robert for his tongue ulcers and it has been very effective. Starting tonight, I've also got both Aaron and Adrian chewing on a little bit of licorice root after dinner.  I'll be doing it soon too. 


Here are some of the other uses for licorice root.


1. Relaxing expectorant (soothes coughs)

2. Demulcent (soothing effect on contact) 3. Anti-inflammatory (via the body's own corticosteroid mechanisms) 4. Anti-ulcer against gastrointestinal ulcers 5. Laxative 6. Adaptogenic tonic (increases resistance to the effects of physical, mental and emotional stress) 7. Hepato-protective (protects the liver) 8. Antiviral, antifungal, antibacterial 9. Antioxidant and anti tumor 10.Hormonal regulation


Looks like it might be helpful to chew a little of it each day for all sorts of reasons.